Section:GDN 12 PaGe:4 Edition Date:190827 Edition:01 Zone: Sent at 26/8/2019 16:26 cYanmaGentaYellowbla
- The Guardian
4 Tuesday 27 August 2019
Clare and Ryan Moulder,
who are in their 40s, met
at work in 1997. They
live in Slough and have
two children
O
n Clare’s fi rst day at work 22
years ago, Ryan was the fi rst
person she was introduced
to. They were at the Mars
confectionery company, in the
wrapping area of the factory
that made Twix bars. Clare was 24; Ryan
was 20. “He’s 6ft 3in, dark and handsome,”
she says. The head-to-toe white overalls
look good on men, she adds. “I thought:
‘Wow!’ straight away. But I was at work and
I thought: ‘I’m here to do a job, not fi nd my
potential husband.’”
Did Ryan notice her? “It’s a very male-
dominated area , and seeing a young lady walk
into the factory, and especially one so pretty,
yeah, it was a big day. I remember being taken
aback at how beautiful she was.”
Clare smiles. “I don’t remember you
saying that.”
Although they were part of a friendly, close-
knit team, the couple found it hard to get time
together. Their break times rarely coincided.
On top of that, Clare says her factory outfi t
- hairnet, hard hat, steel-toe-capped boots,
white overalls – was not the most fl attering.
“I had to do my best every day to look as good
as I possibly could,” she says. “My eyebrows
would be done, although I couldn’t wear too
much make up.”
She says he was oblivious to the fact she
liked him. “I would try to engineer it so we
were on the same break pattern, and I’d try to
organise lots of social events,” she says. Did
he like her? “I did,” says Ryan. “But I’m not a
very macho, chase-the-ladies sort of person.”
It took about six months of Clare “being quite
underhand”, she says, before they got together
on a night out, and Ryan says they have been
pretty much inseparable ever since.
They moved in together six months later
and worked together on the factory fl oor
for another two years. “You spend a lot of
time with those people who are working
the same shifts as you,” says Ryan. “It was
young love and we didn’t want that space
- we were quite happy spending all our
time together.”
What did they like about each other? “The
most important thing is our sense of humour
is the same,” says Ryan. And their values,
Clare adds. At work “ you fi nd a lot of people
who share the same values. I think that was
the thing that has kept us together, and at
work as well – it feels like it’s all wrapped up
in our life.”
They are both still at Mars, a company
they love, where employees are called
Martians. Clare did a degree and now works in
marketing; Ryan is in factory planning. “There
are days when I won’t see him at all, and there
are days when I’ll see him in the canteen,” she
says. “It never really gets too much.” And they
rarely talk about work at home, he says.
Do they eat chocolate all day? Ryan
laughs and says he has type 1 diabetes , so
has to watch his sugar intake. Working in a
chocolate factory does have its advantages,
however. “I’ve had a couple of low blood-sugar
attack s, and chocolate is one of the things you
can use to fi ght them .” Their house is
a magnet for trick or treaters at Halloween,
says Clare.
Is she surprised that she and Ryan are
still together, more than two decades on?
“It sounds so trite, but when you know, you
know,” she says. “My dad used to say: ‘You and
Ryan are cut from the same cloth.’ ”
A few weeks ago, Ryan’s aunt died. She
got Ryan the job at Mars, and worked for
the company for a remarkable 73 years.
They were close. “I was trying to be strong
for my dad, keep a stiff upper lip, and then
at the end when everyone was fi ltering
out after the funeral, Clare came to see me
and I broke down,” he says, “because it
was Clare. She’s my person, the one I share
everything with. You know that person means
everything to you.”
Interviews by Emine Saner
Want to share your story? Email howwemet@
theguardian.com
How we met ‘He was dark and
handsome. But I was at work to
do a job, not fi nd a husband’
Love and sex
‘I should have
told my dad
I hated him’
Parents and
children don’t
always get along.
But what does it
take to sever all
ties with your
mum or dad?
By Lizzie Cernik
A s a child,
Laura craved unconditional love.
But instead of cuddles and family
outings, her lasting memories are
of bitter rows. “My mum never
wanted children,” she says. “She
told me that the only reason she
didn’t get an abortion was she found
out about the pregnancy too late.”
Laura’s dad left when she was very
young, which she thinks made
her mother resentful. “She had to
stay and be the responsible mum,
which she hated. On one occasion
my grandparents took me away and
I remember thinking: this is what
family should be like.”
The relationship dissolved
completely when Laura was a
teenager. “Mum’s fi rst love was
always men, and when I was 15 she
moved to Africa for a boyfriend
without telling me.” It’s something
she found impossible to forgive,
especially as there has never been
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