The Guardian - 27.08.2019

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Section:GDN 12 PaGe:4 Edition Date:190827 Edition:01 Zone: Sent at 26/8/2019 16:26 cYanmaGentaYellowbla



  • The Guardian
    4
    Tuesday 27 August 2019


Clare and Ryan Moulder,


who are in their 40s, met


at work in 1997. They


live in Slough and have


two children


O


n Clare’s fi rst day at work 22
years ago, Ryan was the fi rst
person she was introduced
to. They were at the Mars
confectionery company, in the
wrapping area of the factory
that made Twix bars. Clare was 24; Ryan
was 20. “He’s 6ft 3in, dark and handsome,”
she says. The head-to-toe white overalls
look good on men, she adds. “I thought:
‘Wow!’ straight away. But I was at work and
I thought: ‘I’m here to do a job, not fi nd my
potential husband.’”
Did Ryan notice her? “It’s a very male-
dominated area , and seeing a young lady walk
into the factory, and especially one so pretty,
yeah, it was a big day. I remember being taken
aback at how beautiful she was.”
Clare smiles. “I don’t remember you
saying that.”
Although they were part of a friendly, close-
knit team, the couple found it hard to get time
together. Their break times rarely coincided.
On top of that, Clare says her factory outfi t


  • hairnet, hard hat, steel-toe-capped boots,
    white overalls – was not the most fl attering.
    “I had to do my best every day to look as good
    as I possibly could,” she says. “My eyebrows
    would be done, although I couldn’t wear too
    much make up.”
    She says he was oblivious to the fact she
    liked him. “I would try to engineer it so we
    were on the same break pattern, and I’d try to
    organise lots of social events,” she says. Did
    he like her? “I did,” says Ryan. “But I’m not a
    very macho, chase-the-ladies sort of person.”
    It took about six months of Clare “being quite
    underhand”, she says, before they got together
    on a night out, and Ryan says they have been
    pretty much inseparable ever since.
    They moved in together six months later


and worked together on the factory fl oor
for another two years. “You spend a lot of
time with those people who are working
the same shifts as you,” says Ryan. “It was
young love and we didn’t want that space


  • we were quite happy spending all our
    time together.”
    What did they like about each other? “The
    most important thing is our sense of humour
    is the same,” says Ryan. And their values,
    Clare adds. At work “ you fi nd a lot of people
    who share the same values. I think that was
    the thing that has kept us together, and at
    work as well – it feels like it’s all wrapped up
    in our life.”
    They are both still at Mars, a company
    they love, where employees are called
    Martians. Clare did a degree and now works in
    marketing; Ryan is in factory planning. “There
    are days when I won’t see him at all, and there
    are days when I’ll see him in the canteen,” she
    says. “It never really gets too much.” And they
    rarely talk about work at home, he says.
    Do they eat chocolate all day? Ryan
    laughs and says he has type 1 diabetes , so
    has to watch his sugar intake. Working in a
    chocolate factory does have its advantages,
    however. “I’ve had a couple of low blood-sugar
    attack s, and chocolate is one of the things you
    can use to fi ght them .” Their house is
    a magnet for trick or treaters at Halloween,
    says Clare.
    Is she surprised that she and Ryan are
    still together, more than two decades on?
    “It sounds so trite, but when you know, you
    know,” she says. “My dad used to say: ‘You and
    Ryan are cut from the same cloth.’ ”
    A few weeks ago, Ryan’s aunt died. She
    got Ryan the job at Mars, and worked for
    the company for a remarkable 73 years.
    They were close. “I was trying to be strong
    for my dad, keep a stiff upper lip, and then
    at the end when everyone was fi ltering
    out after the funeral, Clare came to see me
    and I broke down,” he says, “because it
    was Clare. She’s my person, the one I share
    everything with. You know that person means
    everything to you.”
    Interviews by Emine Saner
    Want to share your story? Email howwemet@
    theguardian.com


How we met ‘He was dark and


handsome. But I was at work to


do a job, not fi nd a husband’


Love and sex


‘I should have


told my dad


I hated him’


Parents and


children don’t


always get along.


But what does it


take to sever all


ties with your


mum or dad?


By Lizzie Cernik


A s a child,


Laura craved unconditional love.
But instead of cuddles and family
outings, her lasting memories are
of bitter rows. “My mum never
wanted children,” she says. “She
told me that the only reason she
didn’t get an abortion was she found
out about the pregnancy too late.”
Laura’s dad left when she was very
young, which she thinks made
her mother resentful. “She had to
stay and be the responsible mum,
which she hated. On one occasion
my grandparents took me away and
I remember thinking: this is what
family should be like.”
The relationship dissolved
completely when Laura was a
teenager. “Mum’s fi rst love was
always men, and when I was 15 she
moved to Africa for a boyfriend
without telling me.” It’s something
she found impossible to forgive,
especially as there has never been

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