12 womansweekly.com
WORDS:
GILLIAN
HARVEY
LucindaHart,43,is a writer
andlivesin Cornwallwith
hertwodaughters,Rafi, 5 ,
andFridi,2, andhermum,
Caroline,73.
At21,whenI movedout
of myparents’homein
Cornwallto goto university
in Bath,I resolvedthatI’dnever
moveback.I’dspreadmywings
andit waswonderful.
Afteruni,I renteda flatand
lovedtheindependenceof living
alone.I stayedin Bathfor 10 years,
thenrentedtwodifferentplacesin
CornwallwhenI movedforwork.
But,aged37,singleand
pregnantwithmyfirstdaughter,
Rafi– conceivedusinga donor–
I decidedto returnhomefora short
while.I wantedfamilyaroundin
theearlyweeksof Rafi’slife,and
didn’twantto strugglefinancially
whileonmaternityleavefrom
myjobasa medicalsecretary.
Fiveyearson,whatI’d
intendedto bea six-monthstay
hasevolvedintoa permanent
livingarrangement.
ShortlyafterI movedin andgave
birthto Rafiin August2013,my
fatherbecameill withcancer.
Despitetreatment,hediedjust
aftermyseconddaughter,Fridi–
whoalsoI conceivedwitha donor- wasbornin January2017.
SinceDad’sdeath,Mumand
I haveformedanunconventional
partnership– sheis a second
parentto mydaughtersandwe
splittheircareevenly.I paymoney
intothehouseholdaccount,and
wetaketurnsto goshopping.
Livingin thisenvironmenthas
beenwonderful.I’vefulfilledmy
ambitionto becomea writerand
publishedmyfirstbook,Oberon
Out, thisMay.It’ssomething
I couldn’thavedonewithout
Mumaroundto helpwiththe
kidswhileI dealtwithdeadlines.
I don’thavethegreatestof luck
withmen,andI’mnotinterested
in meetinganyoneat themoment.
Butif someonecomesintomy
lifein thefuture,hewillhaveto
acceptmylivingarrangements.I’d
wanthimto havehisownspace,
andI neverwantto livewitha man
full-time,in thishouseoranyother.
I wouldn’tdisruptmygirls
bymovingawayfromMum,and
I can’tbelievethatI willever
createa happierhome.Pals Talia (left)
and Keziah‘I’M
NEVER
LONELY’
‘MUM’S
A SECOND
PARENT’No place LIKE HOM
‘My childhood
home has
become a
forever home’
Threewomenreveal
howunconventional
livingarrangements
cansometimesbe
a perfectsolution
Lucinda’s
happy family