The Washington Post - 28.08.2019

E4 EZ EE THE WASHINGTON POST.WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 28 , 2019

Lunch

BY MAURA JUDKIS

In advice columnist Judith
Martin’s book “Miss Manners’
Guide to Excruciatingly Correct
Behavior,” a reader asks: “What is
the proper way to eat potato
chips?”
Miss Manners replied:
“Gentle Reader: With a knife
and fork. A fruit knife and an
oyster fork, to be specific. For
pity’s sake, what is this world
coming to? Miss Manners doesn’t
mind explaining the finer points
of gracious living, but feels that
anyone who doesn’t have the
sense to pick up a potato chip and
stuff it into his mouth probably
should not be running around
loose on the streets.”
We all eat chips the same way:
by the fistful, often with little
self-control. One turns into 25, a
bowl of dip becomes dregs to be
excavated for flavor with the last
crumbly few shards in the bag.
They’re welcome at any party.
They’re worth their weight in
gold at elementary school cafete-
rias.
Chips can go highbrow (perfect
with caviar) and lowbrow (equally
great with onion dip out of the jar).
I grew up eating Cape Cod potato
chips dipped in cottage cheese —
one of my mother’s favorite snacks
from her childhood — and had no
idea until middle school that it was
not a normal combination of
foods. (Which, honestly? Try it. It’s
great.)
They’re also an easy upsell at
your local sandwich place, add-
ing crunch alongside your turkey
on rye. That’s why we bought 13
popular brands and conducted a
blind taste test, to see which bag
is worthy of being your afternoon
reward of a salty snack or a
companion to your panino. The
list includes some deli classics —
hello, Lay’s — and several region-
al favorites that have found na-
tional distribution, like Louisi-
ana’s Zapp’s and local Route 11
chips. If you’re about to email us
to say that we forgot your favorite
brand — yes, we know, we just
couldn’t include every chip in the
country. So please don’t get ...
salty. Ba-dum-tsss
Our panel of tasters rated the
chips on their texture (too crum-
bly? too crunchy?) salt balance
(too much? not enough?) and
overall taste, with a maximum
possible score of 20. We were
very, very thirsty afterward.

1. Lay’s Kettle Cooked
   Score: 14.1
   Our winner wasn’t a niche
   brand with a precious story. It

was just a version of one of

America’s best-selling mass-

market chips, but with perfect

technique. Kettle-cooked Lay’s

have “a nice pop of salt” and

offer a “strong potato taste

game.” In fact, they’re “really

salty, but it feels warranted,” and

also “seriously crunchy” — to the

point where it “would be very

difficult to eat discreetly, if that

was the goal!” They scored high

in texture: “Full of air bubbles

(love that),” and “awesome fold-

ed ones, extra crunch.” Thin

chips, like regular Lay’s, just

aren’t as interesting and not

formidable enough to hold their

own against your sandwich. All

of the tasters were “digging the

kettle style.” One summed it up:

“These would not be safe in my

house.”

2. Deep River
   Score: 13.6
   Hailing from Deep River,
   Conn., these chips have a “thick
   and crackly body” with “excel-
   lent crunch and pretty good
   potato flavor” and a “better
   oil-to-salt balance that makes
   me forget the grease on my
   fingertips.” “I really like the
   complexity — the strong potato
   flavor, the wobbly surface, the
   formidable texture, the loud
   crunch,” one taster said. “This is
   the correct salt level (which
   means high-ish) and they’ve got
   a really nice crunch factor.”
   Deep River “tastes like a potato,
   more or less,” with “nice bubbles
   and crunch.”
   3. Zapp’s
   Score: 12.9
   These Louisiana chips were
   greasy but not in a bad way. A
   “grease bomb — but that doesn’t
   mean they don’t taste good,” one
   taster proclaimed. They have a
   “fun crunch and strong potatoey
   taste at the beginning, but then
   your mouth fills with oil.” They’re
   thick, with “lots of weird shapes,”
   but tasters didn’t complain that
   they tore up their mouth. “These
   are big, tough lads. They have
   real crunch.” “The burnt pieces
   are the most promising.” “I like
   these a lot — good amount of
   crunch and texture.”
   4. (tie) Cape Cod
   Score: 12.8
   The chip that evokes blue-
   blooded beach vacations is “very
   satisfying — crunchy, salty but
   not too much, and a variety of fun
   structural formations.” It was
   “crispy and pleasant overall,” and
   “would be great with a nice pil-
   sner.” Tasters especially liked its
   folded over chips, for a double
   layer of crunch: “Thick, irregular
   shapes (which I love).” “What a
   curious creature!” one taster ex-
   claimed. “There’s a snow-like
   powdery quality to the salt and
   something almost adorable
   about their shape.”
   4. (tie) Whole Foods 365
   Score: 12.8
   These are thick and crispy —
   maybe too much? As much as
   testers liked this chip, which was
   a lot, they also worried about

their gums. “So crunchy, I felt like

I was going to cut the roof of my

mouth with an errant bite,” one

said. “This is the chip that rips up

the roof of your mouth on the way

down,” another said. The Whole

Foods house brand was “VERY

salty, but not unpleasantly so,” a

“solid potato chip with a decent

texture” that “shatters on the

tongue.” “The scorched edges

makes me think this chip means

business.” “I really like the little

pieces of skin left on the chip.” “So

crispy, very potatoey!”

6. Ruffles
   Score: 11.8
   Yes, it was a blind test, but
   thanks to Ruffles’s distinctive tex-
   ture and taste, a few people
   guessed this one. It was pretty
   polarizing, receiving some of the
   lowest and highest scores of the
   taste test. Some of those high
   scores were nostalgia: “Ah, a fa-
   miliar crunch from pool parties
   and cookouts.” “They would be
   okay with onion dip.” “The ridges
   are such a pleasant addition and
   somehow even out the salt con-
   sumption.” Others felt that the
   ridges and salt content were a
   concern. “It feels like my teeth are
   mashing into it, rather than get-
   ting quick, satisfying crunch. “I
   like the tactile sensation of the
   crunch, but after two, I can feel
   my body begin to puff from excess
   sodium.” One taster summa-
   rized: “A little off-putting on the
   tongue, but I find that it’s hard to
   stop eating them.”
   7. Kettle
   Score: 11
   Munch munch, crunch crunch!
   This chip was “audibly crispy,”
   but less in an ASMR way and
   more in a “I’m worried about my
   dentist judging me” way. “My
   poor teeth, they are working too
   hard,” one taster said. “First they
   have to mash down this chip, and
   then it clings to my molars like
   taffy.” It was “anemic and yet
   somehow effortful,” with “great
   texture and salt, but not enough
   potato flavor.” The crunch was
   not a drawback for all: One tester
   “Enjoyed the texture” and found
   it “not too greasy.” Though the
   “potato flavor is secondary.”
   8. Miss Vickie’s
   Score: 10.9
   Miss Vickie, bless her heart,
   needs to put a little more salt on
   her chips, according to our tast-
   ers. “Something’s out of whack
   here,” one suspicious taster said.
   The chips “need a tad more salt to
   bring those flavors out.” “Is there
   even any salt at all? If so, I can’t
   taste it.” They have a “great
   crunch, but a slightly troubling
   taste, as if the oil they were
   cooked in had been held at too
   high a temperature.” One taster
   said the less-salty chips were “a
   nice relief in a [13]-chip taste test,
   but not ideal in my lunch.” “These
   taste like they were once good but
   got stale.”
   9. Lay’s Classic
   Score: 10.8
   This was a thin chip, which is
   an extremely divisive style. But it
   fared better than Utz and Herr’s
   (below) because it triggered
   childhood memories: “Standard
   lunch bag fare, but not in a bad
   way.” “Very nostalgic, like I’ve had
   them a million times before.” But
   that didn’t mean our tasters
   wouldn’t have some criticism,
   namely on its slim size and crum-
   bly texture. “I put it in my mouth.
   Where did it go? It’s disappeared,
   and forgotten.” “Super salty,
   which wouldn’t be bad if they
   weren’t also so thin.” “Might be
   nice in a sandwich, but you
   wouldn’t really want it with one.”
   Classic Lay’s are “a whisper of a
   crisp” — “thin, familiar, greasy” —
   that “immediately dissolved, but
   not in an unpleasant way.” “Just
   so-so.”
   10. Dirty
   Score: 10.4
   These were chips that tasters
   thought tasted like potatoes. “I
   appreciate when you can see
   potato skin on a chip,” said one,
   while another agreed that they

“actually taste like potato and

they sit well on the tongue.” The

problem was the oil — specifical-

ly, that there was a lot of it. They

were “a crispy oil ball” that

was “very shiny, disconcertingly

so.” It gave them a “kind of odd

texture — some are a bit chewy?

Doesn’t have that crunch sound

like some of the others.” It also

gave them a more pronounced

color. “These are orange, which

makes me think they’re extreme-

ly oil-logged.” “Weird, bitter, off-

oil aftertaste.”

11. (tie) Herr’s
    Score: 9.4
    Herr’s and Route 11 tied for
    second-to-last, but for completely
    different reasons. In the case of
    Herr’s, it came down to texture.
    They were “kind of Pringley,”
    with “a texture almost like recon-
    stituted beach sand. Thin and
    lifeless.” The thin texture contrib-
    uted to more breakage than some
    of the other brands. “I’m staring
    at a bowl of chip shards,” said one
    taster, while another deemed it
    “basically like eating potato chip
    crumbs.” They were “slightly
    burnt,” “a bit too salty for my
    taste,” “soggy and sort of sad” and
    “vaguely schmaltzy.”


12. (tie) Route 11
    Score: 9.4
    The problem here was more
    about taste. The chips “could use
    more salt and less oil.” “I hated it,”
    said one taster, who added that it
    “tastes fishy, probably because
    the oil was turned. Ew.” Tasters
    thought they were “lightweight
    in both texture and flavor” and
    tasted “artificial and a little stale.”
    “The salt balance seems off.”
    “Where’s the potato flavor?”
    “Pretty pedestrian.” “Just not ex-
    citing.”


13. Utz
    Score: 7.2
    Ohhhh, boy. This is going to
    cause some trouble, isn’t it? Utz is
    a beloved brand. But in a blind
    taste test, the thin and crumbly
    chip really fell short compared
    with the others. “Is this even
    made from potatoes? Thin as
    they are, they coat the mouth,
    unpleasantly. There’s a nice taste
    to the oil, though,” one taster said.
    “No taste. Does this chip even
    exist? Or was it a figment of my
    imagination?” another said. With
    its “medium salt level” and “pow-
    dery texture,” tasters had “noth-
    ing to recommend.” “Gag! I want
    to give this zero.” “No amount of
    salt balance will fix it.” “This is a
    potato cracker, not a potato chip.”
    [email protected]

TASTE TEST

We tried 13 popular potato chip brands. Don’t get salty over our rankings.

BY KRISTEN HARTKE

My earliest memories of a
packed lunch come courtesy of a
precocious badger who was a
very picky eater. In the classic
1960 children’s book “Bread and
Jam for Frances,” by Russell Ho-
ban, furry little Frances is so
enamored of bread spread thickly
with sweet jam that she refuses to
eat anything else — but what
especially captured my imagina-
tion was how the little badger
children in the story ate their
lunches at school. Frances’s
lunch, in particular, started with
her placing a large paper doily on
her desk, topped with a small
vase filled with violets, followed
by various cups, plates, cutlery
and even a tiny basket filled with
cherries.
Clearly, hers was no Sad Desk
Lunch.
Maybe you don’t feel the need
to bring in a set designer to dress
your desk for lunch, but if you do
bring food to work with you each
day, it helps if the containers
provide a little more pizazz than a
cheap plastic deli container. But
you’ll also want containers that
are functional, eco-friendly and
speak to your individual needs,
from salads to soups to sandwich-
es. Whether you like to pack light
or carbo-load, there’s a container
that will give your lunch the
respect it so richly deserves. Doily
not included. Here’s what to look
for:
First, determine your luncher
profile. No two lunchers are the
same, so their containers
shouldn’t be, either. If you’re
carrying lunch to work each day,
myriad considerations go into
your choice of vessel; you don’t
want a container that will leak
balsamic vinaigrette all over your
yoga pants, and you don’t want to
find a crushed sandwich trapped
beneath your e-reader. Other con-
siderations: container size and
weight, material and ability to

keep food hot or cold. Once you

identify your profile, you’ll find a

container to match it.

The portion-control freak

We see you, measuring out

exactly 11 pretzel sticks to go with

2 ounces of hummus. Whether

you count calories or points, or

have been dabbling in intermit-

tent fasting, you deserve a petite

container that matches your meal

plan.

The OmieBox ($39.50): Like

other bento boxes, it provides

precision and variety in a packed

lunch; unlike most, it also offers

both hot and cold storage. A

3/4-cup thermal insert holds just

enough soup or pasta to whet

your appetite — as well as flexible

storage areas for snacks, fruit and

vegetables. If you aren’t in the

mood for a hot entree, simply

remove the insert, and there’s

plenty of room for a sandwich.

Pros: BPA-free plastic with a

leakproof, food-grade silicone

seal. Cons: It ain’t lightweight,

clocking in at 1.7 pounds.

The Frego ($17-$21.95): If you

like a hot lunch but are wary of

microwaving plastic containers,

opt for this simple square glass

container (2 or 4 cups), wrapped

in a food-grade silicone shell that

stays cool even after you’ve heat-

ed up your food. Modeled after a

classic Pyrex dish, the Frego can

go from freezer to briefcase to

microwave, all in a single com-

pact package. Pros: Shatterproof,

oven safe, leakproof. Cons:

Heavy at 1.4 pounds.

The European luncher

Americans may just bolt down

a quick bite or two, but lunchers

across Europe take their noon-

time repast more seriously. If

lunch is your big indulgence,

these containers will do your

meal justice.

OXO Good Grips Leakproof

On-The-Go Salad Contain-

er ($15.99): Nothing could be

more satisfying than the Big Sal-

ad, as popularized by Elaine

Benes on “Seinfeld,” but keeping

all those components separate

until the last minute is key to

preserving various textures. This

nifty unit provides a wide bowl

for your leafy greens as well as a

dressing container, topped off by

a plate that keeps proteins and

other toppings separate until

you’re ready to mix it all up. Pros:

Leakproof and lightweight with a

sturdy lid. Cons: The bowl might

be a little shallow for those who

like a really big salad.

PackIt Freezable Lunch Bag

($21.50): It’s a complete cold-

storage lunch kit: Freezable gels

are built into the walls of the bag,

which folds into a small package

for freezer storage until you are

ready to fill it. PackIt’s Flex Bento

food storage container ($17.99)

fits inside the bag, leaving plenty

of room for drink bottles, whole

fruit, yogurt cups and other

snacks. Round it out with To-Go-

Ware’s reusable bamboo utensil

set ($12.95) which includes a

knife, fork, spoon and chopsticks.

Pros: The built-in freezer gels

negate the need for separate ice

packs. Cons: The bento contain-

er is mostly designed for dry

ingredients.

The minimalist

“Grab and Go” is your mantra:

You don’t want to carry around a

bunch of containers, mix stuff up

at your desk or have to wait in line

for the microwave. You want to

travel light.

Bee’s Wrap ($18 for two-pack):

If you’re a fan of PB&J or any

other kind of sandwiches, ditch

the plastic sandwich bags in favor

of a more environmentally sus-

tainable option. These squares of

organic cotton that have been

coated in beeswax, tree resin and

jojoba oil; simply wrap a square

around your sandwich and then

clean it off in cool water (warm

water would melt the beeswax).

Pros: Naturally antibacterial and

reusable. Cons: Not everyone

loves the smell of beeswax.

Preserve’s sandwich storage

containers ($6 for two) and Vapur

“anti-bottle” ($6.99-$15.99): Pre-

serve’s hard shell keeps sand-

wiches intact, and filling a Vapur

with water and freezing it solid

will keep your sandwich chilled

on the way to work. Drink the

water as it defrosts, then simply

roll up the empty reusable pouch

at the end of the day. Pros:

Preserve containers are made

with 100 percent recycled plastic

and are also 100 percent recycla-

ble — a win-win. Cons: For a

comfortable fit, sandwiches must

be made with standard sliced

bread.

Thermos 16-ounce stainless-steel

food jar ($24.99): Honestly, noth-

ing could be more classic — read:

retro — than carrying one of

these full of soup for lunch. The

jar even comes with a stainless

steel spoon that folds neatly into

the lid. Pros: Keeps food hot for

up to nine hours, no microwave

required. Cons: The built-in soup

cup lid works a bit better for

drinking than spooning.

The chronic snacker

You’re like that mom who al-

ways miraculously has some-

thing to nibble on tucked away in

the recesses of her purse, from

Froot Loops to beer nuts. Face it,

you’re more of a nibbler than a

serious eater.

ChicoBag Snack Time three-

pack ($15.99): The clever design

allows the same bag to be used in

either a snack or sandwich size,

so add any amount to each bag to

customize your snacking experi-

ence. Pros: Food-safe, water and

stain resistant. Cons: You have to

wash them.

Lunchskins Paper Quart Bags

($5.49 for 50): Lunchskins makes

reusable sandwich and snack

bags, but to be honest, it’s these

bags that win the day. Available in

both sandwich and quart size,

they are unwaxed and toxin-free,

meaning they can be both recy-

cled and composted. Pros: You

don’t have to wash them, and

they’re recyclable. Cons: They’re

paper, so they aren’t leakproof.

[email protected]

Hartke is a food writer and recipe

developer, as well as culinary

producer for chef Carla Hall. She

writes at kristenhartke.com.

Pick containers that let you stay true to an eco-friendly ethos

STACY ZARIN GOLDBERG FOR THE WASHINGTON POST; STYLING BY LISA CHERKASKY FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

There’s an environmentally responsible option for almost any lunch item you need to pack.

STACY ZARIN GOLDBERG FOR THE WASHINGTON POST; FOOD STYLING BY LISA CHERKASKY FOR THE WASHINGTON POST

A team of tasters tested 13 popular potato chip brands, rating them on texture, salt balance and overall

taste. Chips tested ranged from “soggy and sort of sad” to “would not be safe in my house.”