FIRST PERSON
f you were a guest at my wedding in Playa del Carmen,
Mexico, eight years ago, you might have thought it all
went perfectly according to plan. After all, Gus and I
gleefully shared our vows barefoot in the sand, then
paraded down the street to our reception with a mari-
achi band and 75 loving family members and friends.
But what no one saw behind my smile that day was six
months’ worth of wedding-planning bumps, bruises, and a few
old-fashioned breakdowns. We had so many small disasters
that by the time our wedding day arrived, I’d become an expert
in learning to look at things from a brighter and larger perspec-
tive. I’d figured out what plenty of been-there-done-that brides
had before me: that it’s not just what happens during your wed-
ding planning that matters, it’s how you react to it that makes
the difference between a year of feeling ’zilla or totally chilla.
In the hopes that some of the lessons I learned might help, I’m
sharing some ways you can view your own frustrations through
rosier-bouquet-colored glasses. And I’m not just spouting off;
I literally wrote the book (three, in fact!) on how seeing your
situation from a more positive perspective can make you hap-
pier. Do that and whatever happens on your big day—whether
it’s hail or high water or slightly-off-color linens—you’re still
guaranteed to have the time of your life.TURN A SETBACK INTO A LEAP FORWARD. I started out like
the warrior princess of wedding planning: I sent out save-
the-date postcards six strong months ahead and ordered beau-
tiful invitations. Yet three months before the wedding—then
two—those invites still hadn’t shown up. When I woke up in a
panicked sweat at 4 a.m. five weeks before our event, I found an
online company that shipped postcards overnight and created
one that read, “Our invites never arrived ... but we hope you still
can!” We mailed them off with hot-pink bougainvillea flower
petals from our yard in the envelopes to fancy them up, and
wouldn’t you know it: Our guests loved how the “emergency”
invites reflected our informal personalities in a refreshing way.
So when you face a planning crisis, find a way to look at your
champagne flute as not just half full but overflowing. You’ll not
only sur vive it but thrive from it. If those four cases of final-sale
wine you ordered taste less awesome than you remembered,
turn them into custom wedding sangria named after the two of
you. (“Who’s up for a little Sam and Greg ’Gria?”) And if the
ribbon and tissue paper you bought for your DIY decor aren’t
the quality you expected, well, you have the perfect start to a
Kids’ Kraft Korner. (Our original invitations, by the way, arrived
a month after our honeymoon—and were perfect kindling in
the backyard fire pit for months to come.)THE REAL TRICK TO
ENJOYING WEDDING
PLANNING? SOMETHING
OLD AND SOMETHING
NEW—NAMELY, YOUR
PERSPECTIVE.
BY AMY SPENCERHappily
Ever Before
I
162 F E B R U A R Y / M A R C H 2 0 1 6 BRIDES.COMLAURENT DARMON/TRUNK ARCHIVE