guests weren’t expecting goodie bags, let
alone Pinterest-perfect ones. So I picked
up some turquoise paper bags that fit flat
in my suitcase. And then started brain-
storming how to get those beach towels
across the border.RUN THE SMALL DETAILS PAST YOUR
FUTURE 10TH-WEDDING-ANNIVERSARY
SELF. The sheer number of decisions you
have to make during wedding planning
can induce craziness. So if you find your-
self cracking under the pressure—Should
you go with the ivor y napkins or the
eggshell ones? One cake filling or two?—imagine the future you sitting beside your
spouse a decade from now and ask her
these questions: What does she remember
about the color of the napkins and the fla-
vor of the cake? What did she cherish
most? Chances are, it was laughing with
family and dancing with her partner that
really put the cherr y on top of her day.
The color of the linens? Meh.THE THINGS THAT GO WRONG WILL
BECOME YOUR FAVORITE STORIES. I’d
finally hit on how to get those guest gift
towels to Mexico: My sister, Liz—my
maid of honor—and her girlfriend would
pack two extra suitcases full of them and
check them with their luggage. It seemed
like a good idea ... until Liz was pulled in
for questioning by customs
and accused of running an
imported-towel sales ring!
She eventually got herself
and the towels through, and
we still laugh about it. The
point is, while people will
enjoy hearing what went
right at your wedding, I
promise you they will far
prefer hearing about what
went wrong. So while you
won’t feel like laughing when
your toddler niece adds a
few colorful crayon touches
to your white wedding heels,
gobble up the disastrous details, because
you’re going to get some major stor y
mileage out of all of them someday.FIRST PERSON
GIVE YOUR WEDDING A “VIBE THEME.”
We all choose a color scheme for our
wedding, right? But here’s an idea that
can ser ve you just as well: Pick a vibe
theme. Ask yourself, How do I want us all
to feel throughout the day? Then, when-
ever you get anxious or lost along the
planning journey, turn to that theme and
find your way back. Our “fun family
fiesta” theme saved the day when we
were about to confirm our reception at
the only available open-air restaurant on
the sand. I was checking how late our
mariachi band was allowed to play when
our first planners said, “Oh. This spotdoesn’t allow live music.” Disappoint-
ment shot through me when I realized
that if we wanted a mariachi band, we’d
have to hole up in a smaller spot in town.
After a few requisite stress tears, I needed
to make a decision, so I turned to our
theme—and what kind of fun family
fiesta would it be without a mariachi
band? We changed venues; downtown it
was. Give yourself the same gift to stay
focused on the big picture. Your “cozy-
sweet chic” vibe may help you choose
comfy stuffed dining chairs over hard
wooden ones, and a “gorgeous ’n’ goof y”
event might remind you to add humor to
your vows, song mix, and table names so
the day really feels like you.REMEMBER THAT YOUR GUESTS WON’T
KNOW WHAT THEY’RE MISSING. It’s easy
to get so attached to a picture in your
mind that if it changes, you circle down
the depression drain: But that wasn’t the
plan [sniffle, sniffle]. True; it wasn’t. But
nobody else knows that! I told myself this
when we hit a glitch shipping boxes of
wedding items to our rented villa in Mex-
ico. We’d wanted to send straw beach
bags I’d ordered for the guest goodie bags,
along with striped turquoise towels,
which were already stacked in our home
office. Weeks before the wedding, the box
of straw bags was rejected by customs,
and we were told no other shipments
would get through. No adorable straw
bags? But that wasn’t the plan! Then I took a
deep breath and reminded myself that ourThe most magical moments of your day will be
the ones you probably didn’t plan.
RELISH THE SURPRISES. At some point
on your wedding day, you’ll face a cross-
roads that, despite your careful planning,
you simply couldn’t have foreseen. Maybe
the extension cords won’t reach the DJ
stand or puddles from a rainstorm will
force you to move your buffet table. For
us, it was that our wedding planner also
failed to mention until we arrived at the
reception that other restaurant patrons
would be dining at tables right next to
ours! I fumed when I found out—but
seeing our happy guests shaking mara-
cas to the music, I realized that as long
as we were all together, a few random
strangers rounding out our group only
made it more of a fiesta. So much so that
an hour later, caught up in the energy,
Gus and I hopped onto the restaurant’s
deliver y tricycle and rode it up and down
the beautiful cobblestone street. I still
smile when I think about the warm
wind on our faces, the hooting of our
guests as we pedaled past, and the feel-
ing that this unplanned moment was a
sign of the fun we would have in our life
together. And that’s the best lesson of
all: The most magical moments of your
day will be the ones you probably didn’t
plan either—the ner vous hand squeeze
from your partner at the top of the aisle,
the cute blunder in your perfect vows,
the awkward laugh when you can’t
find the knife to cut the cake. As much
as you plan, also allow your wedding
day to surprise you with spontaneous
moments that will give you happy mem-
ories for your life to come.Amy Spencer’s latest book, The Happy
Life Checklist, cheerfully explains how to
add moments of happiness to your day. COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR164 F E B R U A R Y / M A R C H 2 0 1 6 BRIDES.COM