Woman’s Day New Zealand – September 02, 2019

Advice

G etadvice from fast-talkingRova and More FMstarPolly Gillespie

D

ate,inprivate

Love,inprivate

Behappy,inprivate

Live,inprivate

Thatway,I can

take my losses,inprivate

Maintain, inprivate

Rebuild myself,inprivate.

I’m not surewhowrote

this, but clearlytheyarean

“enigma”. Inmyquestto

become a mysteriouswoman

I’ll go and getthistattooedas

a tramp stampthisafternoon.

But that mightdefeatthe

whole “enigma”thing,so

perhaps I’ll justmake 50

copies of it andwallpaper

my bedroomwalls?

I was toldrecentlythat

it might be agoodideaif I

lived my lifeslightlymore

privately, andthatit couldbe

to my advantagetobe,well,

slightly moreenigmatic.I do

need to reinit ina bit.

As a childofseven,

living insidethebodyofa

38-year-old (cough,cough),

I’m always alittlesurprised

when peopleassumeI might

be scary as I’maboutas

frightening asa ToffeePop.

When I findoutthatI

may appear tosomeasthat

woman, it makesmyheart

hurt a wee bitandbringsthe

tiniest sting tothebackof

my eye. I trytobeauthentic

and vulnerable.

I was blessedwitha

magic gene thatfinds

humour in everysituation

and I stumbleuponthe

sweet spot ineverylemon,

but I am missinganairof

mystery. I searchedTrade

Me for bottlesof“EauAirof

Mystery”, butcouldonly

find used exercyclesand

bad clothing.

I’ll have tocreatemy

enigmatic selffromscratch

and thereforeI’vemade

a list of howtodoit.I’m

notsureit’saccurateor

complete,butheregoes...

I havea feelingmy

statusas“PollyGillespie

• NewZealand’sGreatest
  Enigma”willneverbe.
  Well,I tried!

PICTURE: BAUER STUDIO.

Q

I’mgettingsickandtired

ofwearinghighheels

towork,butI can’tlooktoo

casualasI workina lawyer’s

office.Doyoureckonloafers

aretoocasualtowearwith

a suit?Mysorefeethavejust

abouthadenough!

●SoleSister,Tauranga

A

I thinkthereis any

numberofcombosnow

thatarecorporate-office

appropriate.Mosthighheels

areforshort-periodposing.

Getgreatpants(orstridesas

mydadwouldcallthem)and

mid-heelsorbrogues,bootsor

sportsshoes.Youdon’tneed

tolooklikea Foxchannel

newsreadertoworkata law

firm.It’sallaboutstyleand

class,notheelheight.

Q

ThenewcouchI bought

is gettingscratchedby

myflatmate’scatandI am

nothappy.It’sa terrorand

tobefair,myflatmate’snot

muchbetter.ShallI askmy

flatmatetoreimburseme

forthedamageoris that

toopetty?

●PetPeeve,viaemail

A

Toopetty.Getridofthe

flatmateorthecouch,but

thewholereimbursingthing

is assive-aggressivetwaddle.

Questions

forPolly?

Write to

wday [email protected] or

Woman’sDay,Private Bag 92512,

WellesleyStreet,Auckland.

ASK POLLY

Pollyism of the week

e

n,

s

complete,butheregoes...

Q

A

1. Buy a vintage little black
   dress (preferably Chanel).


2. Google if Chanel ever
   made “big” little black
   dresses in size 16.


3. Purchase brogues
   (although I have no idea in
   what situation I could ever
   find myself donning a pair).


4. Never mention that I
   have a man, interest in a
   man, that a man lives next
   door, that I like men or that
   I’m vaguely interested in
   any man unless he’s a very
   private European billionaire.


5. Practise being “languid”.


6. When asked if I have a
   man, reply, “Perhaps, but
   then again ...”, then look
   wistfully into the distance.


7. When asked about love,
   say, “I don’t talk about
   my private life – it’s too
   privately private.” Then
   continue, “Can’t you tell by
   my brogues that I’m not the
   sort of person to talk about
   my private affairs?”


8. Never use the word
   “affair” in any context.


9. Take up a hobby that
   might involve orchids,
   landscape painting or a harp.


10. Buy a sensible fragrance
    that’s evocative of books
    and clouds.


11. Try very hard not to fall
    in love. (Tricky because I’m
    not built for indifference.)


12. Do not wear my heart
    anywhere near my sleeves.

Woman’s Day 77