lastlaughs
GUY BRANUM:
“Bella Hadid and The Weeknd
ha ve broken up for the second
ti me. The Weeknd decidedto
le ave so he can focus on finding
the missing ‘e’ from his name.”SETH MEYERS:
“Olympic swimmer Ryan
Lo chte returned to competitive
swimming after a 14-month
suspension. He didn’t knowhewas suspended; he just thought
that’s how long you’re supposed
to wait after eating.”DAVIDSPADE:
“MatthewPerry’s
$35 millionpenthouse is the
most expensive condo for
sale in Los Angeles. And it’s
still smaller than Monica’s
apartment on Friends!”STEPHEN COLBERT:
“A woman who turned
107 shared her secret
to longevity: ‘I never
got married.’ And you
never will with that
attitude, missy!”JAMES CORDEN:
“A dairy farmer in
Singapore recently got
engaged after proposing
to his girlfriend by putting
a ring on a cowÕs udder.
The cow will not be
attending the wedding —
although it will be at the
reception dinner.”DAVID SPADE:
“Scott Disick admitshe was ‘so insecure’and found it difficultto be a dad when hewas dating KourtneyKardashian. But Scottturned it around. Nowhe’s a great dad to thewomen he’s dating.”