Diva UK – September 2019

A change is gonna come

THE BIGGEST

OBSTACLE

WE NEED TO

OVERCOME

IS A CULTURE

OF SELFISH-

NESS, SAYS

OLIVIA

JONES

I almost got in a fight the other day. I

saw a woman drop a piece of rubbish

out of her car window and I tsked qui-

etly as I walked past on the other side

of the road. Then I thought to myself,

“Be the change you want to see in the

world”. So I walked over and I picked

it up, without acknowledging her, and

walked away.

I went to a cashpoint just over the

road and before too long I heard an “OI”

over my shoulder. I gulped and turned

around to see the rather intimidat-

ing, could-clearly-take-me-in-a-fight

woman. She shouted: “WHAT DID YOU

JUST PICK UP OUTSIDE MY CAR?” I was

using the cashpoint and, quite frankly,

was a little embarrassed, so I turned

back around hoping she’d just call me

a name and drive off. But she persisted.

“ERM, EXCUSE ME. WHAT DID YOU

JUST PICK UP OUTSIDE MY CAR?”

Knowing she wasn’t going to

leave without an answer, I held up my

hand for her to see the crumpled lolli-

pop wrapper. “I PICKED UP YOUR RUB-

BISH!” I shouted back aggressively, not

quite engaging the fight or flight part

of my brain. She looked surprised,

maybe even a little embarrassed, and

I thought for a moment perhaps my

point had been made. But then she

called me a bitch and drove away.

After the dizziness of the play-

ground bully anxiety subsided, I

thought about what this interaction

was a symptom of. I honestly believe

the biggest obstacle in our culture is

selfishness. The more we focus on

ourselves and what we feel that we

deserve to suck from the planet and

society in the few years we have on

this earth, the more we allow the

cracks to appear in the glue that holds

this whole show together.

What’s mad is that research sug-

gests givers tend to be some of the

“luckiest” in our society. The idea be-

ing that if you give to a lot of people,

you attract people who want to help

you right back. Of course, you’ll attract

takers, but once you suss them out,

you stop giving to them and they soon

move on to leech from someone else.

It’s slightly more complicated than

that (see Adam Grant’s TED Talk), but

as a whole, that’s the system.

So, imagine a world in which we

all gave more: to the planet, to our

colleagues, to our friends and family,

and even to perfect strangers. We’d

be sipping Malibu and Coke, sharing

stories about the cute little grandma

who you helped walk across the road

and who gave you a fiver that you

then gave to a coffee shop to pay

forward for a homeless person and a

super-hot mega babe overheard you

do it and asked you on a date and you

BANGED ALL NIGHT.

I don’t know for sure that would

happen, but I do know that if you

want to find yourself surrounded by

generous, thoughtful, empathetic

people, then the best bet is to be one

yourself.

Givers tend to be

some of the ‘luckiest’

in our society”

OLIVIA JONES

is a presenter

based in

Manchester.

She lives with

her wife and has

a dangerous

addiction to

cheese.

@ThatOliviaJones

24 SEPTEMBER 2019

VIEWS | OLIVIA JONES