been moved—then I encourage
people to involve themselves,” says
Lovenheim. “But if two neighbors
are squabbling over a parking space,
I wouldn’t impose myself unless
I’m asked.”
Practicing the art of neighboring
is challenging but fun—and exploring
the world beyond the walls of our
home has been a trip. As we eagerly
anticipated our closing, Arran and
I made a list of places to go and
things to do in our new town. Each
weekend since we moved in, we’ve
investigated an item on our list: the
farmers’ market, the kitschy diner,
the waterfront, the art museum.
Often we invite one or more of our
neighbors. When it comes to making
friends with your neighbors, the
experts agree: You don’t need to
become someone you’re not. Instead
of forcing your two left feet to take
up Latin dance, ask a fellow foodie
to meet you for brunch. “Volunteer
on a civic project,” suggests Pinker.
“Anything that gets you out on a
regular basis.”
If you’re an introvert like me,
Pinker suggests seeking out environ-
ments where you have some control.
Think open houses versus dinner
parties so you can come and go as
you wish. While it may be less intim-
idating to log on and participate in
your local Facebook community,Pinker says communicating solely
online is not enough: “Online net-
works are good for exchanging
information and logistics to set up
in-person meetings, but it’s no sub-
stitute for interacting face-to-face.”
And the truth is, it’s never too late
(aside from the day you’re moving
out, perhaps) to foster new friend-
ships or become better acquainted
with all your town has to offer.
Wherever you live, there are things
to do and people nearby to do them
with. Connection is possible every-
where, experts say, and for all of us—
even homebodies.