Diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in her early 20s, Rosie felt ashamed, isolated
and confused. The stigma of BPD has silenced people for years – but she’s had enough.
Through her poetry, Rosie is leading the way for change, and showing that everyone
deserves love, support, and most importantly, a voiceWriting | Maxine AliM
ental illness can
often feel like a
silent struggle.
Finding and
sharing the right
words to capture
the confusion and emotion of life
with a mental health condition
is no mean feat. It is especially
challenging because these feelings
are not always visible to the
outside world.
Even with various efforts being
made to end the stigma, silence
remains an experience for many
when it comes to discussing our
own mental health.
For Rosie, silence was a defining
part of her early experiences as
she navigated life with a mental
illness. “In the beginning, I felt like
I had no one to talk to,” she says. “I
felt extremely ashamed, isolated
and confused.”
Rosie was diagnosed with
borderline personality disorder(BPD) when she was 23. “For years,
I carried my BPD around like a
dirty little secret,” she recalls. “Any
attempt I made to say the words
‘borderline personality disorder’
made me want to vomit.”
BPD, sometimes called
emotionally unstable personality
disorder, is characterised by
affective dysregulation, disturbed
patterns of thinking or perception,
and impulsive behaviour.
These characteristics are believed
to emerge as adaptive, defensive
strategies from the chronic
trauma, interpersonal violence,
or emotionally-unprotective
environments often experienced by
people with BPD.
Chartered psychologist Kimberley
Wilson says: “People with a
diagnosis of BPD can often feel
under siege by their own thoughts
and emotions, and become
sensitive towards any hint of
rejection from those around them.”Rosie adds: “I would describe
a BPD episode as a moment
of emotional agony. In those
moments, I am deafened by
my thoughts and drowning in
emotions.”
Unfortunately, BPD is a condition
layered with myths, stereotypes
and misrepresentations. Many
people with BPD recall being
dismissed as ‘over-dramatic’ and
‘attention-seekers’, feeling coerced
into silence and secrecy for their
own self-preservation.
The sanctions of silence
surrounding BPD were
immediately apparent to Rosie.
“The psychiatrist who diagnosed
me told me it would be better if
she didn’t record my diagnosis
in my medical notes,” she says.
“Essentially, she was telling me to
hide my BPD.”
Individuals with BPD tend to be
treated with less compassion than
those with other mental health26 • happiful.com • August 2019
Writing for
change