For Suz, her OCD made the world around her feel
unsafe and anxious. Ultimately, anxiety and self-harm
overwhelmed her and she withdrew from life. Like many
people, it took her years to ask for help, but in starting
therapy, taking the difficult road did she began to release
her from the grip of her obsessive compulsive
thoughts. Through therapy, and learning not to
be silenced by her experiences, Suz was able to
reclaim her life.OUR EXPERT SAYS
For anyone struggling,
remember OCD thrives on your
silence. It forces you to feel guilt,
shame and embarrassment
about what’s going onGraeme Orr | MBACP (Accred) UKRCP
Reg Ind counsellorSuz blogs to raise awareness of OCD at crazycreativecool.comof fear that something
bad would happen while
outside. But even at home,
I would panic and end up
hysterical if someone was
late coming home.
I never really talked
to anyone about it, and
my mind desperately
needed an outlet.
In 2014, I developed
dermatillomania – a
form of self-harm which
involves the ritual of
picking at your skin to
generate feelings of relief
from anxiety.
The skin picking gave
me another excuse not to
leave the house, because I
felt so disgusted in myself.
My self-esteem was so low,
I couldn’t find the joy in
anything. I was convinced
this was all my life would
be, and then began to not
feel anything.
After reading an
article on depression,
I understood what the
numbness meant. I’d spent
years feeling trapped by
my mind, but I suddenly
had a stronger thought. I
deserved to get better.
In 2016, I found a
therapist I connected
with, started cognitive
behavioural therapy (CBT)
and began to feel hopeful.
We practised exposure
exercises, and I would be
in tears, convinced there
was no way I could do
it. Each session I came
back with news of my
accomplishments – baby
steps in battling my
intrusive thoughts.
Counselling genuinely
changed my life. It helped
me to be aware of my
thoughts and not let them
define or control me.For anyone struggling,
remember OCD thrives
on your silence. It forces
you to feel guilt, shame
and embarrassment about
what’s going on. It controls
and isolates you. I was
constantly searching for
someone else who was
going through something
similar. I didn’t find
anyone for years – so
many of us feel isolatedwith OCD, and the irony is
just that: so many of us.
The most important
thing to destroy the power
OCD was holding over me
was talking to someone.
Help and support is out
there, but you have to
believe you are worthy
of reaching out for it.
You deserve support.
You deserve a moment of
peace in your mind.August 2019 • happiful.com • 81