The Grocer – 24 August 2019

bogof

Get the full story at thegrocer.co.uk 24 August 2019 | The Grocer | 49

Zagros Jaff , Domino’s

Pizza’s area manager

for Portsmouth and

Southampton, hasn’t

let his supervisory

duties interfere with his

craft. Last week he was

crowned Europe’s fastest

pizza maker.

Jaff can knock up

a pizza in 27 seconds

• that’s 133 an hour!
  Domino’s rewarded him
  with a special ‘golden
  hands’ trophy. Congrats!

Fastest pizza

in the south

ad of the week: Anthony Joshua’s crew sell Lynx’s chilled message

When we last covered
an ad starring Anthony
Joshua (for Lucozade , in
May), the boxer was an
undefeated, universally
acknowledged good egg.
Since then he’s lost his
belts and entered into a
beef with Lennox Lewis.
As the driver of
its ‘Ice Chill Van’, AJ
demonstrates the aff able
side Lynx will hope he
maintains publicly,
chauff euring footballer
Jesse Lingard, rapper

Tinie Tempah and

YouTub e r C a l f re e z y.

The lads dole out cans

of Lynx to a series of

men who are somewhat

overdoing it – a goal-

scoring overcelebrater

and a noise-polluting

cyclist among them.

The ‘you’re hotter

when you chill’ message

still feels fresh, and

the crew’s camaraderie

helps sell the amusing

ads. Perhaps Joshua

could send Lewis a can.

Indian robots

bring progress

to the table

A year ago, Bogof
brought you news of
robots being employed as
waiters in Thailand.
It seems the trend is
spreading ( though quite
slowly). At imaginatively
named eaterie Robot,
in Bangalore, India, six
robot servers glide eerily
between tables.
Diners can order via
tablet devices, meaning
the only interaction they
need to have with actual
people comes when
the restaurant’s surviv-
ing human staff decant
plates from the robots’

trays to the table. Who

knows what will become

of them once the bots fi g-

ure out how to do that –

but we can rest assured

that their not-in-any-way

sinister red ‘eyes’ and

cute scarves will provide

a distraction.

Somewhat creepily,

the restaurant bots are

apparently designed to

be ‘feminine’, with din-

ers invited to give them

names. Don’t get cheeky,

though – using facial rec-

ognition technology, they

can ‘remember’ you.

A robot serves up a ‘byte’ to eat. Geddit? Oh never mind

For basic millennials,
the rollout of Starbucks’
pumpkin spice latte has
become the universal sig-
nifi er of autumn’s arrival.
So kudos to Spam,
which is looking to make
cooked pork in a can
more appealing to the
kids with its own pump-
kin spice variant.
Perhaps in a satirical
take on Donald Trump’s
ascendancy to president,
the gelatinous orangey

meat product started off

as a joke (on the brand’s

Facebook page) but has

now become a grim real-

ity in the US.

Might be useful at

Halloween, we suppose.

Spam folder: Do people

think pumpkins are spicy?

Spam plays the

pumpkin card

S

uch larks, readers! It’s positively charming

to see the twits in the government come

over all ornithological in their Brexit

planning, isn’t it? We have Yellowhammer, which

is there to guarantee that as much as 50% of

our food distribution system will function on 1

November, and Kingfi sher, which will use our

money to subsidise those businesses that the

wise and rational Andrea Leadsom selects for an

outside chance of survival.

So what next? Operation Bustard, descriptive of

our post-Brexit economy? Or how about Operation

Shag, given that the lights are going to be out for

most of the time? Operation Petrel Rationing?

I did hear a n ex-cabinet minister suggesting

that any planning led by my dear former boss

‘Fishlips’ Gove ought to be named Operation

Booby , but that felt unnecessarily cruel.

In any case, with the great day approaching,

Frexit has been inundated with lobbyists self-

interestedly looking to ensure there will be

insulin and baby formula in the new sovereign

Britain. This is of course just Project Fear,

darlings, which must on no account be allowed

to take precedence over Project Stupid. Talking

of birds, the Turkey Council is making its voice

heard in favour of Christmas.

As to me, I’ve volunteered to tackle contingency

planning in the alcoholic drinks category. As well

as stockpiling, I’m particularly looking forward

to sampling Peaky Blinder lager and Game of

Thrones scotch, but surely there is room for even

more creativity here. In The Night Garden white

cider? Chernobyl vodka? Oh, that’s right, they’ve

already done that one.

DONNA

PUMSEY

FOOD RETAIL EXPORT IMPORT & TRADE MINISTER

Picture Credit: Photo by JAGADEESH NV/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock