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52 maskmatters.org FALL - V9
said and react accordingly. It might feel silly to them at
first, but they’ll be surprised by their body’s ability to
manifest the positive words they tell themselves.
h
Surround yourself with positive people. If
they find themselves surrounded by negative
people and negative feelings, tell them to take a deep
breath and walk away. Having positive friends and family
members can change their attitude for the better. They
deserve people who are rooting them on.
h
Stay in the present. Remind your child to focus
on what is happening now, not what’s happened
in the past. Our imagination can run wild and replay
negative experiences and memories, so it’s important to
stay in the present and keep everything else in the past
where it belongs.
h
Be thankful. Explain to your child that even if
they feel like things seem to be falling apart
at the moment, there’s always a reason to be thankful.
When they work to find gratefulness and thankfulness
for such things as family, friends, pets, and hobbies or
activities that bring them joy, they’ll find that situations
that may have once upset or exhausted them feel less
worrisome to deal with.
Accepting and processing negative thoughts and
emotions may be difficult for your child. But by teaching
them that we can find the good in negative emotions,
they will begin to be more in tune with their feelings
and continue to hone and improve their emotional
intelligence.
W
hen it comes to raising our children, there
once was the notion that teaching our
kids not to show emotion was a sign of
strength. In fact, many people during
childhood learn to ignore or avoid bad
things because it’s easier to sweep them under the rug
rather than to deal with them.
Ignoring bad experiences—and the emotions that
come with them—is what mental health experts call
“emotional avoidance” and it has its consequences. To
cope with negative feelings, young people may resort
to unhealthy behaviors, such as using drugs or alcohol,
binge eating, or heightened sexual behavior.
In reality, negative emotions are important and
useful because they can be turned around and used in a
proactive way. Here are some tips on helping your child
find the positive in negative emotions:
h
Focus on the positive. No matter what
obstacles or challenges your child may
experience, encourage them to try to focus on the
positive side of the situation. For example, if your child
is cut from the sports team, have them evaluate their
strengths and how they may fit with another sport or
activity.
h
Turn negative self-talk into positive self-talk.
When we talk badly about ourselves, we start
to believe it. If your child says things like, “I’m a terrible
person,” have them change it to, “I’m a great person!”
In a few seconds, their brain will process what they just
TURN A
NEGATIVE INTO
A POSITIVE