M
y 20-year-old son recently joined the
Army. I am unbelievably proud but, as
a mother, I feel worried sick every day.
How do I go about my day-to-day life without
being plagued by negative thoughts and
anxiety about his risky job? A close friend of
mine has boys who are also in the Army, and
I’ve heard such horror stories. I can’t help but
imagine worst-case scenarios and wonder what
the future holds. Do I need to see someone?
Louise, NorwichIt certainly wouldn’t do you any harm to talk through
your feelings with a counsellor or therapist. We are
all prone to sinister thoughts and disaster fantasies
but yours, fuelled by your son’s decision to join the
military, have started to cloud your everyday life.
Of course you worry about him – any loving mum
would – but, with help from a competent therapist,
you will be able to tuck your anxieties away in
a much more manageable compartment, and limit
these frightening thought projections which are
weighing you down.P
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STYLING:^ RACHEL^GOLDHAIR^&^MAKE-UP:SALLYCAIRNS^O Email your questions to [email protected] or write to:
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TERRIFIED FOR MY SON
TOO MUCH TIME WITH HUBBY
M
y husband lost his job
four months ago. I felt
terrible for him at the time
but, the longer he sits on the
coach doing nothing about it,
the more disgusted I feel. He’s
only applied for two jobs in that
whole time. I have a well-paid
job, so we were never going to
go bankrupt, but I’m sick of
feeling like I’m working hard
while he watches Netflix all
day. He has nothing to tell me
when I get home. I love him,
but this change of dynamic
is dramatically affecting me.
Ruth, Leamington SpaCultivate a bit of empathy, woman!
You’re dwelling on your ownannoyance and entirely ignoring
what your husband is going
through. Can’t you spare an ounce
of concern for your Old Man?
He’s obviously in shock. He has
to adjust to a loss of status, non-
existent earnings and the prospect
of unemployment. It’s tough. His
confidence has obviously taken
such a bashing, he hardly has
the heart to try to land himself
a new job. Don’t be disgusted. He’s
struggling. Do what you can to
encourage and support your man.
Let’s hope this is nothing more than
a career blip and he’ll get back in
the saddle pronto. If it takes a little
while, don’t be resentful. Be grateful
you have a well-paid job and can
keep the two of you in the black.V
a n
e s
s a