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email: [email protected]readersdigest.co.in 103Reader’s DigestI’ll call it a smartphone the day I yell,
“Where’s my phone?” and it yells,
“Down here! In the couch cushions!”
— @Here_To_Laughcents’ in? Somebody’s
making a penny.
—steven wright,
comedianI could have been a
clockmaker, but the
idea only struck me
at the eleventh hour.
—aradhya purohit,
BhopalA young lawyer is
working late one night
when his door opens
and in walks Satan
himself. “I have an
offer,” says Satan.
“If you give me your
soul and the soul of
everyone in your fam-
ily, I’ll make you a full
partner in your firm.”
The lawyer stares
icily at the devil for
a full minute before
demanding, “So,
what’s the catch?”
—KINSLEYLAW.COMQuestion: How do stat-
isticians sign off their
letters or mails?
Answer: Yo u r s,
approximately.
—V. r. Shankar,
VisakhapatnamMEET THE MOST ABSURD
HOLLYWOOD CLICHÉSÊHi. I’m the best friend
of a murder victim. Even
though the police come to
my workplace to question
me about my dead friend,
I’ll just unload this truck or
clear these busy tables as
we talk instead of giving
them my full attention.
— @steve_eifert
ÊHello. I’m the Golden
Gate Bridge in a movie.
I will be destroyed.
— @MichaelLevySFÊHello. I am a person
using a phone in a movie.
I don’t say goodbye
before I hang up. I just
stop talking and put the
phone down and the
person on the other end
somehow just knows
I’m not there anymore.
— @mattsinger
ÊHello. I’m a nurse in
a movie. I sit at the desk
and know nothing but
visiting hours and the
location of every patient
and doctor in the hospital.
— @politinurse
ÊHello. I’m a bar patron
in a movie. I can walk into
any bar for the first time
and say “Two beers,
please” and the bartender
will hand me two beers
with no discussion of type,
brand or receptacle.
st — @tjchambersLA
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