2019-08-01_Reader_s_Digest_India

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Reader’s Digest

DEPARTMENT OF WIT

when you die, you are put on a

pedestal. The terrible faults you

possess while you’re alive are

transformed into wonderful qualities

as soon as you’ve gone.

BEFORE: He has a really nasty disposi-

tion. He flies into a rage at the drop of a

Appreciated

in the

Afterlife

ByAnne Roumanoff

hat, he’s unbearable. AFTER: He was

quite a character. He was certainly never

one to let people take advantage of him.

BEFORE: He eats too much, he drinks

too much. He’s got high cholesterol

and a damaged liver. AFTER: He was a

bon viveur, an epicurean who knew

how to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

BEFORE: I’ve never seen such a nosy

blabbermouth of a woman, a real scan-

dalmonger. She’s the ultimate gossip

queen. AFTER: She had an unfailing

interest in other people and a perma-

nent need to communicate with them.

BEFORE:She spends all her time at the

hairdresser’s, her make-up is a real

paint job, and she blows all her money

on clothes. AFTER:She was always per-

fectly turned-out and elegant, with a

completely individual sense of style.

BEFORE:I’ve never seen such a miser,

he won’t even give you the time of day.

AFTER: He had a very rare type of gene-

rosity, in fact he was so rarely generous

that it made those occasions

very precious.

BEFORE: He complains about feeling

lonely but he’s fallen out with everyone,

nobody can stand him anymore.

AFTER: He was very selective about his

friends. His very high standards ren-

dered him a happy loner.

BEFORE: To be honest, I won’t miss

him very much. AFTER:You will remain

forever present in our hearts.

Anne Roumanoff is a well-known French

ind humourist. She lives in Paris.

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