Parents – September 2019

“For our son’s shoes, we use Elfa Utility

Narrow Medium Mesh Baskets, mounted on a

bracket in his closet. They take up very little

space, and they’re the perfect size for kids.”

—Joe Williamson and Dale Saylor,

cofounders of the Raising Henry vlog

Time a dry run before Day 1.
“With no judgment, find out how long it
takes them to do everything in the morning
mostly on their own, from waking
up to being ready to walk out the door,”
Morgenstern says. Then you’ll know
exactly how much time you need. (Don’t
despair. They’ll get quicker eventually.)
Certain tasks, like doing buttons and tying
laces, may require some extra practice. If
distractions are what’s slowing them
down (“Oh, look, my Lego bricks ...”), get
that timer back out. It’s really helpful
for kids to see the minutes counting down.

Make clothing easily accessible.

Keep clothes at their height level and in one

area to help them dress themselves, a task

they should be able to do by about age 4.

“If half their clothes are in the closet and

the other half are in a dresser across the

room, that’s a huge disconnect for a kid,”

Morgenstern says. Relocate the dresser

inside the closet, or install low hooks or a

small hanging rack alongside the dresser.

Group garments by type in drawers or

cubbies, and add labels to the outsides

(with or without pictures). Be prepared to

accept the finished product—in all its

mismatched glory. However, it’s okay to set

guidelines about dressing appropriately

for the weather. (Limit potential whammies

by weeding out summer items like shorts

at the end of the season.)

Set up a launchpad. Consolidate all

your last-minute getting-out-the-door gear

in a single area like a mudroom, a front

hallway, or even a child’s bedroom. Outfit

it with a small bench where the kids can

sit down to pull on shoes. Nearby, hang

a row of low hooks for coats, accessories,

and backpacks so your children can grab

these easily.

Plan to get ready every evening.

Ask yourself which daytime tasks

can be done the night before, like having

backpacks packed up and picking out

clothes, says family physician Deborah

Gilboa, M.D., a youth-development expert

and founder of AskDrG.com.

Determine where schoolwork

actually happens. Set up the

homework station there (instead of where

you wish it happened). If it’s a

communal area, like the kitchen counter

or the dining-room table, carve out

a storage space nearby for extra paper,

clipboards (for mobile and on-the-floor

workers), and other supplies. This might

mean clearing out a lower kitchen

cabinet or a dining-room bookcase shelf.

Stock up on supplies. At the

beginning of the school year, load a

container with pencils, pens, markers, rulers,

and glue, says Becky Rapinchuk, author

of Clean Mama’s Guide to a Healthy Home.

Rapinchuk uses a large cutlery caddie

(Williston Forge Flatware Caddy, $48;

wayfair.com). Include some quiet-time

activities for younger siblings too. “There

are six years between my kids. We always

had Play-Doh and color-with-water books

at the homework station so they could sit

quietly together,” Rapinchuk says.

Provide the setup, then give your

kids space. “You should be playing the

role of study-hall monitor at most,” Dr. Gilboa

says. “You’re there to make sure the music

isn’t too loud and they’re staying in their

seats. If there’s something they don’t

understand or a further resource they need,

it’s fine to offer guidance, but if you put

pen to their paper, you’ve done too much.”

Get the homework back to school.

From preschool onward, your kids will be

bombarded with So. Much. Paper. To help

them keep track of it, Morgenstern arms

kids with a two-pocket homework folder:

“One side is labeled ‘To do,’ the other

‘To hand in.’ ” (As kids get older, they can

use a different folder for each subject.)

Work first, party later. It probably

goes without saying, but you need a

policy that privileges like screen time

don’t kick in until the homework is finished.

Your Role in Their Success

START SLOW

Don’t implement dramatic

across-the-board changes

all at once. “Your kids

will feel like their world is

being turned upside

down,” says Hanks. Tackle

one thing at a time, and

explain how you’re going

to be doing it differently

and why.

BE HANDS-OFF

Once you’ve demoed

a skill, step back. “A little

struggle promotes

learning,” says Hanks. If

your child gets genuinely

stuck or a meltdown is on

the horizon, reteach the

skill, but don’t just jump in

and do it or you will

undermine his confidence.

FIRST CONNECT,

THEN DIRECT

“Kids respond much better

to what’s being asked of

them if you give them

some undivided attention

first,” Morgenstern says.

“Five minutes goes a long

way. Think about how

you’d feel if you walked

into work and your boss

immediately said, ‘I need

you to do this and that!’ ”

MAKE PARTICIPATION

MANDATORY

Fight the urge to offer

rewards and bribes. Stick

with the core messaging:

You’re asking your kids to

do XYZ because everyone

in this family contributes,

and also because they’re

old enough to handle

it now. (The desire to not

seem “babyish” is highly

motivating!)

THE

MORNING

ROUTINE

HOMEWORK

HOUR

#IRL

TOP LEFT: SASHA GULISH. RIGHT: COURTESY OF THE BRAND.

PARENTS 120 SEPTEMBER 2019

LIFEÑBack to School