Frankie

(Frankie) #1

a christmas for one


CARO COOPER SENDS GOOD TIDINGS


AND FANCY WINE TO FOLKS RIDING


SOLO ON CHRISTMAS DAY.


Spending Christmas alone, away from family and friends, can be
either a liberating exercise in adult independence or a saddening,
lonely day of critical self-reflection. Here are some tips to help
you get your festive cheer on and avoid ending the day sobbing
face-down in a plate of boozy pudding.


TREAT YOURSELF There’s a lot of pain involved in being an adult:
paying bills; working; the crushing realisation that you’re not
special; and being too big to ride in a pram. There is, however,
an upside, and it’s one we often forget: the power to eat and
buy whatever the heck we want. We get so caught up in limiting
ourselves to what we should consume that we forget those
constraints are self-imposed. What better time to throw off your
restrictive dietary and budgetary shackles than during a solo
Christmas? Buy that $30 tub of artisanal ice-cream, a jumbo pie,
organic wine, and all the other foods you’d eat if you could. You can.


EAT, DRINK AND BE MERRY Once you’ve bought your supplies,
it’s time to cook and dine with joy. You don’t need a gaggle of
drunken rellies around to pour a goblet of wine, burst a Christmas
cracker, or don a scratchy paper hat. Similarly, a solo Christmas
lunch doesn’t have to be a lonely cheese jaffle – unless that’s what
you want, of course. Cook your favourites and live on leftovers for


a week. Roasts, salads, sides. Do it all. Don’t forget to set the table,
and use your very best crockery. There’s no better use for the ‘good
plates’ than wining and dining yourself.

SNIFF OUT FELLOW STRAYSChristmas is one of the loneliest times
of year, according to every holiday movie I’ve ever seen. Cities are
filled with people desperate for some communal cheer; unwilling
to eat alone, no matter how nice the plates. So, take the reindeer by
the horns and organise a pot-luck lunch. Ask your friends to spread
the word to any strays within their networks, and if hosting isn’t your
vibe, find a friend-of-a-friend’s event to crash. Worst-case scenario,
you end up at someone’s family Christmas lunch listening to a
drunk aunty wax lyrical about her promiscuity. Great! It’ll make
you even more thankful that you have the evening to yourself.

EMBRACE THE SIMPLICITYNot a fan of crowds or cooking?
Celebrate the quiet – the absence of nosy grandparents, emotional
siblings and kids high on yuletide cheer that drive most people
crazy at Christmas. Just be. Maybe you can pretend it’s not even
Christmas. It’s just any other public holiday; a free pass to spend the
day in your pyjamas while working your way through theGilmore Girls
back catalogue, a 1000-piece puzzle and a tin of Quality Streets.
FACETIME YOUR FAMILYAsk someone back home to set up a
laptop on the table with your dismembered head framed in the
screen. You can eat along with them! You can private message your
sister with sassy retorts to your uncle’s problematic remarks! It’ll be
like you’re there, except when you’re done you can just drop off and
blame the bad internet connection.

STAY OFFLINEWhatever you decide to do on Christmas Day, just
stay off social media. There may remain a tiny ember of sadness
within you – it’s probably your inner-child, confused at the dearth
of presents and carols. Don’t fight it, but also don’t nurture it; avoid
the super-happy Christmas posts slowly filling up your Facebook
and Instagram feeds. There’s nothing to be gained from wallowing
in other people’s good tidings. Besides, you should be busy scoffing
that ice-cream and entire Christmas pudding.

Photo

Eylül Aslan

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