first bite
START YOUR MEAL THE ITALIAN
WAY WITH A TOP-NOTCH
ANTIPASTO PLATTER.
Wor d s Mia TimpanoThere is no greater feat of human achievement than the traditional
Italian antipasto – and if you don’t believe that, then clearly you
haven’t been doing them right. As anyone fortunate enough to
have grown up in an Italian home will know, antipasto (or antipasti,
plural) is the highlight of any meal – even though its function is to
tantalise rather than satisfy the appetite (hence the Pugliese term
for antipasto, apristomaco, meaning ‘stomach opener’).
It’s been a thing since Ancient Roman times, when it was called
antecoena (i.e. ‘before the cena’, or meal) and hit the big time in
16th-century Italy, when everyone agreed this was definitely the best
way to digest food: by nibbling on lots of little amazing things, before
diving headfirst into a plate of mushroom risotto, lasagne andzepoli
(fried bread), then finishing with fruit (this is an actual meal people
will feed you in Calabria).
But where to begin, should you want to whip up your own antipasto
platter? Well, it’s facile (easy) as the mythical ‘pizza pie’ (fact: pizza is
never a pie, unless it’s a calzone, in which case it’s still not a pie, but
rather a pizza parcel). Just learn a few concepts, follow a few steps,
and you’re on your way to Flavour Town, stopping at all stations,
including Everybody Loves Me Now and Dear God, Where Did You
Get This Cheese?...................
STEP 1: GET A CRAZY-BIG PLATE Or two, depending on the number
of guests you have coming over. But for the purpose of these
instructions, let’s assume you’re entertaining 10 humans or less.
You can go in three directions for your choice of platter: a basic white
ceramic dish (cool because all the colours of your antipasto bits will
really pop); a timber board (cool because it’s rustic and people can
cut their own cheese on it); or whatever plate-like thing you have
lying around, provided it’s big enough to accommodate heaps of stuff.
Remember: technically there are no ‘rules’ for making an antipasto
(other than including a variety of textures and flavours, and no
Cheezels, on pain of death), so if it makes you smile, then it’s a goer....................
STEP 2: GO TO YOUR LOCAL ITALIAN DELI Trust us, your closest
supermarket is not up to the job – unless you live in one of those
incredibly fancy suburbs that has an incredibly fancy supermarket
where everything is made of goat’s milk, or whatever. For this
task, you need to go to the source. You need to find your nearest
smallgoods-bearing Italians and/or Greeks. These people specialise
in bringing the finest ingredients from their native countries to this
here island, for the benefit of our collective stomachs – so cash in!
Not only will you be able to get everything you need for your antipasto
(and more – hello, weird breakfast pastries stuffed with Nutella and
chocolate and covered in chocolate flakes), you’ll also score A-grade
advice on what the best cheeses, meats and olives are on offer.STEP 3: THINK VARIETY OK, so remember how we said “no
rules”? Well, there is just one rule – though it’s not really a rule
so much as straight-up, solid advice – and that’s to get as many
different-tasting things on your antipasto platter as possible. You
want to address all the flavour profiles in your selection: sweet,
salty, sour and bitter. Why? Because the contrasting flavours will
make all the individual items form a little conga line in your mouth
and do sexy butt jiggles. Inscribe this into your brain: an antipasto
is greater than the sum of its parts. So, get a dry, sharp cheese
(e.g. a Parmigiano-Reggiano); a smooth, creamy cheese (e.g. a
Mozzarella); cured meats (your staples are prosciutto and a salami
with chunky bits – don’t leave your deli without them!); marinated
veggies (those colourful babies really bring the sweetness); tiny
red peppers stuffed with tuna or cheese (if you like them – and you
should), plus other tasty bits like anchovies or dips. Aside from
the mouth-watering mix of flavours, the range of colours will also
make your eyes rather happy.
...................STEP 4: DON’T FORGET THE BREAD By now, you’ve bought a
bunch of ingredients: cheeses galore, meats galore, yummy olives,
marinated veggies, maybe some nice nuts for a bit of crunch,
and anything else you saw in the deli that looked groovy. But
where is your bread? That’s right, it’s carb time – and whatever
your position on baked goods is generally, some form of bread
is non-negotiable here. People are going to want to soak up that
delicious oil with something other than the palm of their hand,
so grab a crusty loaf (the best is an Italian variety known as ‘farm
bread’; it takes the shape of a big, swollen discus) and slice this
up into baby-sized chunks. Or, you could nab some crostini. Bread
sticks are also popular, but don’t allow you to soak anything up,
so are pretty much pointless – unless, of course, you live for bread
sticks, in which case, go nuts....................
STEP 5: ASSEMBLE Now’s when you get to be super-creative.
Sure, you can roll up your prosciutto into little cigars and arrange
everything into tidy piles as per tradition, but it’s really up to
you how this food fest comes together aesthetically. Cut up
your cheese or leave it to your guests to slice it (either way, just
remember cheese tastes best at room temperature, so if you’ve
tucked your platter into the fridge, let it sit for at least 30 mins
before revealing it to the troops); sort your antipasto into sections
(cheeses in one area, meats in another, etc.); or arrange the
elements to resemble a portrait of Che Guevara. Maybe add some
garnish in the form of capers, chopped-up dill or parsley. No one’s
going to complain about how you make it look – except for that
person who has a mini breakdown because different foods are
touching each other. And that person needs hugs, not judgment.pots and pans