100 COSMOPOLITAN AUGUST 2019 FOR MORE GREAT STORIES, VISIT COSMO.INyou, you, you
MYTH NO.3
‘YOU ARE SO
BLESSED. BE
GRATEFUL,
LOOK AT THE
POSITIVE!’
“You’re upset because something
is going wrong in your life. You’re
anxious, sad, irritable, and not fun
to be around. The pain is showing
up in obsessive-thinking patterns
and as stomach upsets, tension in
the neck and jaw, headaches and
insomnia. And just when things
can’t seem to get more difficult, you
remember—or you’re told—that
you should be grateful. That your life
is actually great because you have
your basic and physical amenities.
So, in effect, you have no right to be
feeling this way, as there are others
really suffering,” says Briar. Because
if all your needs are technically met,
then you’re just a whiny, spoiled
brat, right? Adds Briar, “So on top of
feeling down in the dumps, you’re
also guilty now and are basically left
with a cocktail of feelings with no
idea of how to manage them.” Most
people think they’re doing you a
favour by helping you remember
the ‘positive aspects’ of your life.
But really, in such cases, gratitude
serves to become more of a focal and
distraction point, from the real task at
hand—feeling what life really wants
you to feel.
DO THIS: The first thing to address
is that emotional and physical pain
are one and the same. If you’re
feeling out of whack, address it like
you would a broken arm. Never ever
let anyone—including you—talk
you into thinking that just because
you have things to be grateful for,
that you have no right to feel badly.
You can be grateful and still face
circumstantial difficulties everyday;
it’s not an either-or scenario, they are
mutually exclusive.MYTH 4:
‘IF YOU ARE
POSITIVE, YOU
WILL ATTRACT
SUCCESS’
Ah yes, The Secret. The Law of
Attraction. If you haven’t been
harangued by this motto, well...
lucky you! Positive thinking is indeed
essential for successful manifesting.
But, we’re not all millionaire super
models engaged to perfect guys,
right? That’s because positive
thinking ‘alone’ doesn’t lead to
manifestation; it’s merely one of the
many components of the ‘secret
formula’. The key to the Law of
Attraction is to authentically align the
vibration of our thoughts, feelings
and belief systems so perfectly with
each other, that we may achieve what
we want. However, most of the time,
we ignore our feelings, don’t know
anything about our deeply buried
subconscious belief systems, and
yet expect to attract ‘the dream’ by
thinking positively.
DO THIS: Address your subconscious
belief systems (with the assistance of
a therapist) and rewire your stubborn
neural pathways to align together
with positive thoughts! And then...
the perfect job or guy, may not be a
dream after all!MYTH 5:
‘HAVE
COURAGE, BE
BRAVE, BE
STRONG!’
Firstly, it’s important to define
what courage is. It is the ability to
address uncomfortable feelings
and non-resourceful behavioural
patterns when they show up.
DO THIS: The famous last words
‘face your fears’ are only half
referring to bungee jumps and
white water rafting; they’re really
referring to the demons within and
facing the emotions that human
beings have a hard time accepting,
feeling, and facing! Of course, once
you’ve addressed the what, how,
why of how you feel, and learned
how to deal with them (perhaps
with site assistance of a counsellor
or therapist) then ‘thinking
positively’ is an essential part and
productive part of the process.