Page 46 Daily Mail, Monday, August 12, 2019
A
t AROUND 6.30pm on thursday, May 22,
1997, Nina Nayar and her mother parked out-
side their house. Nina’s day had begun as
usual. then 16, she had gone to school where
she was a straight-A student. She and her
brother Vijay, ten, came home at around 3.30pm. Her
mum was working late, but her father was at home.
Even though her parents had separated six months before, he
would stop by in the morning and evening. that day he hadn’t gone
to work. ‘I am feeling kind of unwell,’ he told Nina.
Nina and Vijay watched tV, did their homework, ate the spaghetti
their mother had left in the fridge.
At around 4.30pm, to Nina’s surprise, her mother walked in. Her
meeting had been cancelled so she was free to take Nina to an
appointment at the optometrist. Vijay jumped up. ‘Can I come with
you, guys?’ he said. ‘No, I’ll take you
to the shops and buy you some
jeans,’ said his father. Vijay’s favour-
ite things were skateboards, roller-
blades, and the full moon. He was
adventurous; soft and gentle.
Nina and her mother got ready in
the hallway. ‘Mum!’ Vijay called out
from upstairs. they could see him
leaning over the banisters on the
second floor landing. ‘Can I get two
pairs of jeans?’
‘Sure, whatever you want, Vi,’
she replied.
It was the last time Nina saw him,
his face gazing down at them beneath
a boyish mop of hair. Less than two
hours later, his body was found lying
on the floor with a knife by his side.
His father’s body was close by. the
father had killed his son, then taken
his own life by setting fire to the
family home.
Detectives gave the time of the
murder-suicide as around 6.15pm.
By the time Nina and her mother
got home, police, firefighters and
ambulance crews were everywhere.
Nina will never know what made
her father do the unspeakable and
murder his own child, but she knows
it was premeditated and required
planning. ‘Detectives said that had
Mum’s meeting not been cancelled, I
would have suffered the same fate.’
Inevitably perhaps, Nina suffered
from post-traumatic stress disorder
caused by that return to her burned-
out home outside toronto, Canada,
with Vijay lying dead inside.T
HERE were many sleep-
less nights spent trying
to piece together her
brother’s last terrifying
moments. ‘I had terrible survivor’s
guilt,’ she says, ‘Why was it not me?
‘Why didn’t I tell him to come with
us? Why did I leave him with my
dad? Why wasn’t I there? If I was
there, could I have done something?
His last words were: “Can I come
with you, guys?” ’
As well as destroying much of the
life she had led to that point, her
father made her future feel impossi-
ble as well. ‘I was in a daze, like, what
just happened?’ she says. there was
so much to work through.’
We meet in a studio in London,
where Nina, 38, bounds in, warm
and smiley. She is happily married to
Mike Purewal, a senior sales
executive, with whom she has a
daughter, Bianca, four. She lives in a
light-filled home near toronto and
now has what she lost at 16: home,
hope, equilibrium.
Within the past two years, she’s
undergone an almost complete
reinvention. After 12 years in thecorporate world and a series of high-
powered jobs, Nina has become a
mindfulness guru, setting up her
business Pure Minds to offer guided
workshops, and writing a best-selling
book, Let that Sh*t Go, about how
to ‘find peace and happiness in
the everyday’.
Billed as a practical guide with
more than 100 tips, it is also an
insight into how, after the most
horrific thing imaginable, Nina
has been able to live without getting
lost in what she describes as a
‘dark hole’.
‘to be aware of all the different
places my mind can take me, and to
be able to pull myself out of it, has
been everything for me, because the
mind can absolutely get the better of
us,’ she says. ‘We think between
50,000 and 70,000 thoughts a day, and
a lot of those aren’t nice, are stress
induced, or lack self-love.’
Mindfulness, a form of meditation,
promotes awareness of the moment
as an alternative to submerging
yourself in painful thoughts.
traumatic memories, she explains,
used to be ‘quite paralysing’ but now:
‘I acknowledge them, instead of
pushing them away or suppressing
them, as I used to. I allow myself to
feel sadness, anger, guilt, resentment
— even if it’s for 30 seconds.
‘then I take a deep breath and
remind myself of what I can and can’t
control. I can’t control the past, but
I can control how I react to it.
‘I am far from perfect. I have
moments when I get upset and hit
lulls, but I try and constantly apply
mindfulness to my life.’
Nina’s parents were born in Indiaby Sally Williams
NOW READ
Shh!
Anti-agers no one but
you need know about
by Inge van Lotringen
Exercise
has failed,
so what
CAN slim
fat ankles?
Shotter (cosmeticskinclinic.
co.uk) suggests radiofrequency
tightening with an RF machine,
such as the Venus Legacy,
around the ankles.
RF energy heats up the deep
skin layers and fat underneath
(it feels nice — like hot stone
massage). this will boost drain-
age, but is also known to kill off
some of the fat. Sophie recom-
mends ten £150 sessions for a
decent result (nationwide,
prices are lower: look on
venustreatments.com/en-uk).
As with Endospheres, top-up
sessions may be needed.
O Ingeborg van
LotrIngen is beauty
director at Cosmopolitan.
email questions to
[email protected].long-lasting, are never
permanent; you cannot change
bone structure and genetically
bad circulation.
If a specialist does diagnose
fat accumulation, Dr SophieIgnore the chatter
YOUR mind has two distinct parts:
the chatty mind which moves
restlessly from one thought to
another, and the observing mind.
Sit for a minute and see where
your mind goes, and how many
thoughts race through it. Watch
those thoughts. You’ll tap into
your observing mind and look at
chatter objectively.Shop mindfully
MAKE a Saturday trip to a packedQ
I’M fit and healthy but
can’t get rid of the fat
on my ankles! What are
my options?A
ARE you sure this is fat?
I’m not keen on my sturdy
ankles either, but it’s not
so much fat as being big-boned
and puffy from hereditary water
retention. As you are physically
fit like me, I thinking you may
suffer the same predicament.
For me, a course of Endo-
spheres (which costs £1,200 for
12 sessions, endospheres.com),
where your legs are massaged
with a specialised machine that
boosts blood flow, lymph
drainage and muscle tone,
made the most difference of all
the things I’ve tried.
However, results, althoughTreasured memory: Nina and Vijay, and (right) Nina today