92 HIGH TIMES I OCTOBER 2019
COMBUSTION/FLOWER
The most common and celebrated form of
marijuana consumption is also the most
restrictive, wasteful and time-consum-
ing use of the plant on the golf course.
Even to the uninitiated, a burning
joint or blunt has a distinct smell that
is easily identifi able and, depending on
what kind of people you’re paired with
or playing near, might be a source of
contention, particularly if you’re in a
state with criminal repercussions for
possession and/or public consumption.
The most damning argument against
combustion on the course, though, is
wind. Depending on the quality of your
roll, there’s a chance that
a blunt lit at the tee box
will be half gone by the
time you get to the fairway,
with only a quarter of its
smoke passing through
your lungs. Even on wind-
less days, a moving cart
will eat a fatty, and soon
you’re left with a nub you
can’t remember spending
enough time with. Addi-
tionally, rain and course
sprinklers are problematic. After all, a
water-dampened doob will take a few
hours to dry out and be useless for the
remainder of the round.
Lastly, combustion takes some time
to get going and to stamp out neatly.
When it’s your turn to swing and you
have to select a club, fi nd and put on
the glove, and choose direction and shot
shape, that loss of time can lead to rush-
ing, which is no help to either your high
or your game.
While there’s a lot working against
recommending combustion, it would
be irresponsible to ignore its draw. For
many, there’s nothing quite as enjoyable
as smoking a joint!
How to golf with combustion: Don’t
use pipes, bowls or bongs. Nothing gives
you away faster than brightly colored
ceramic under an overturned fi st
thumbing at the sparkwheel. The one
exception to this rule is the one-hitter/
dugout combo. With a combination of
stealth and speed of use, the one-hitter
has an edge over its counterparts in
public consumption. If you’re deter-
mined to use a bong on the links, do so
when you have the place to yourself.
Try to manage time, as some
moments are better to spark up in than
others. For instance, after hitting your
ball and putting it in good position,
you’ll likely have a chance to toke. Yourgroup will have to hit, fi nd their balls
and hit the second shot before you,
leaving several minutes for some puff -
ing. Remember to look for moments in
which indulging won’t slow play.
Protect the smokables from water.
Until it’s time to light one up, keep the
joint or blunt in a waterproof package.
Sandwich baggies work well in a pinch,
but for fuller protection, plastic snap-lid
containers are ideal.
Play with a group of friends for a
stress-free round. Like-minded, pot-
friendly buddies not only make the
experience fuller and more enjoyable,
but they’ll also watch your back.
Manage the burn of
your smokes. A good rule
to follow is that if it’s
lit, it’s being smoked. I
have a tendency to let a
burning joint or blunt sit
between my fi ngers while
I take my time with it, but
doing so on the course is
extra wasteful. If it’s lit, it
should be getting smoked.
If you want a break from
it, put it out neatly.
Observe the wind. If in close proxim-
ity to unfamiliar players, lighting up is
still a possibility. All that’s required is
self-awareness. Feel the wind direc-
tion, position yourself downwind from
the players and light up while staying
vigilant for changing wind direction.
People are generally focused on other
things during a round and, unless you
draw attention to yourself, will likely
ignore whatever it is you’re doing in
their periphery.
Pros: Cheap, cool, eff ective.
Cons: Smokes itself, easily detectable,
damaged by wetness.SMOKING WITH STRANGERS
Although golfi ng high with friends is
great, sometimes the lone wolf in us
wants that solitary experience. You look
for tee-time vacancies on the course’s
webpage, call the pro shop to confi rm
a start at a slow time and arrive to a
nearly empty parking lot with a smile
on your face and weed in your bag. You
walk in, pay, grab your starter ticket and
turn to leave only to hear, “By the way,
you’ll be playing with [some square who
is also pissed about having to play with
somebody else].”
“I’d rather play by myself,” you
protest.
“Sorry,” says the clerk. “Two asses in
every cart.” His off -color candor doesn’tGOLFING HIGH
Figuring out
a dosage and
method of
ingestion that
works for you,
prior to the
round, will help
you stay cool
at the tee box.