94 HIGH TIMES I OCTOBER 2019
lighten the reality of your crumbling
plan. He puts a radio to his mouth and
lets the starter know someone is on the
way. The guy you’re paired with is 80.
He’s got a military insignia on his hat,
a blue-line flag on his shirt and dark
shades.
“You like taking your time,” he says
without turning toward you. “Typical.”
“Nice to meet you too,” you say reflex-
ively as he slams on the gas before you
can fully sit down. Your afternoon of
ease and elevation has become a genera-
tional pissing match, and you’re filled
with regret. But you know what? You’re
a goddamn trooper. You’re not going to
let some old codger ruin your day in the
sun. You’re going to smoke that weed in
your bag, and you’re going to get away
with it. Here’s how.
Keep smokes hidden but accessible.
While the pack holding the supply of
good stuff should be kept in your bag,
the blunt you’re smoking should be
on you—unseen but easy to retrieve.
You want immediate access when an
opportunity presents itself. Pockets
are not ideal unless you have a plastic
snap-lid container to protect them from
crumbling. My preference is to keep mysmoke wedged between my hat and ear.
Another possibility is in your sock if
you’re rocking shin-climbers. Feel free
to get creative here.
Walk out to your ball. Insist on your
partner pulling up to their ball while
you walk out to yours. Not only will this
satisfy any need for one-upmanship
they might possess, it will also give you
plenty of time and distance to spend
with your smokes. Stay aware of where
they’re at and, when you hear the cart
approaching, tap out your smoke and
put it back in its hiding spot. Much of
this technique depends on ball place-
ment off the tee, but it can be modified
to fit the situation. If your partner out-
drives you, hit your second shot, grab
the club for your third and say you’ll
walk up as they’re hitting their second.
If you outdrive them, grab your club for
the next shot and walk out if the differ-
ence in distance isn’t too great. If you
hit a bad shot that would require somelooking through rough, great! Grab a
few clubs from your bag that might be
useful, insist that they go hit their shot
and light it up when they drive away.
Greens get it done. When it’s time to
chip and putt, players generally have
a fair amount of space between them.
Take your time assessing the lie, scruti-
nize the hills and valleys of the put-
ting surface, take some deliberate and
thoughtful practice swings, and puff
that spliff the entire time. If your part-
ner is trying to rush you, ignore them.
Assessing the shot is vital to hitting a
good one, ultimately taking less time.
For those in the know, golf and mari-
juana are a mighty duo. Independently,
they relax, comfort and remind us
there’s more to life than what occupies
our day-to-day experience. Together, they
can make an already enjoyable experi-
ence an absolute escape and pleasure, if
done with care and consideration. Take
these tips and swing away. mGOLFING HIGH
Try to manage time, as some moments are better
to spark up in than others. For instance, after hitting
your ball and putting it in good position, you’ll likely
have a chance to toke.