Send us your original
jokes! You could earn $50
and be featured in the
magazine. See page 9 or
rd.ca/joke for details.falling down. A few min-
utes later he came out-
side and slipped on a
section I’d not yet cov-
ered. Puzzled, he said,
“Dad, I think you forgot
the pepper.”
— JAMES McBRIDE, Kitch-
ener, Ont.
I was watching an end-
of-year presentation
made by my daughter’s
Grade 3 class about the
government and Cana-
dian politics. The
teacher asked one of her
students, “Can you tell
us what a capitalist is?”
Without skipping a
beat, the boy confi-
dently replied, “A cap-
italist is someone who
eats people!”
— ADI HUEBERT, West St.
Paul, Man.
Toddler walks by with
a hammer.
Me: What are you going
to make?
Toddler: Noise.
— @IWEARAONESIE
One day my sister-in-
law asked my son, who
was four at the time,
what size he wore so
she could buy him the
superhero underwear
he wanted. He replied,
“My size.”
— TERESA POIRIER, Kings-
ton, Ont.I realized my love of
cleaning and organiza-
tion was rubbing off on
my family when my six-
year-old brought home
a smiling picture of him-
self from school. In a
neat frame holding a
placard, it said, “My dad
is awesome because he
lets me vacuum when
he vacuums the house.”
—KAMAL MALICK, Cal-
gary, Alta.My young granddaugh-
ter began to feel carsick
while we were driving
one day. When I offered
her Gravol, she indig-
nantly replied,
“Grandma, I really don’t
feel like eating rocks!”
— JANET HAINSTOCK,
Moose Jaw, Sask.My son, Aarav, had just
begun learning basic
addition in school. At
a weekend get-together
at a friend’s place, he
came rushing to test my
math knowledge.
“Dada,” he said, “let’s
see you answer this big
math question. There
are going to be some
huge numbers in it.”
I readied myself for a
doozy, but he proceeded
to ask, “What’s two bil-
lion plus two billion?”
— MAHESH GOPALAN,
Thorold, Ont.Me: Please be careful.
You are dripping
your yogurt.
Toddler: Don’t worry,
Mommy, you’ll wipe
it up.
— @RANDILAWSONMy four-year-old calls our microwave
“the pizza heater,” and there’s nothing
to correct because she’s right.
— @XPLODINGUNICORNrd.ca 53