Spotlight - 10.2019

70 Spotlight 10/2019

O

n the outside, Frank could see that he

looked like an average middle-aged

Englishman — a bit flabby around

the middle, balding and with less-

than-perfect teeth. His colleagues

and friends would have described him as affable, a

nice guy, even funny — after a couple of drinks. On

the inside, though, Frank was raging. He wasn’t sure

when his internal and external personas had sepa-

rated. He found it hard to admit to himself that there

were now, in fact, two Franks and to articulate how

this had come about.

Perhaps it had begun when he lost his job ten years

ago. Back then, Frank had still been young enough to

find a new position easily, and he did — but the job

he had wanted so much, the job that had his name

written all over it, had gone to a woman. He had no

evidence to support this, but Frank was sure that he

had lost out because he was a man.

A couple of years after that, his marriage to Julie

began to fall apart. No one reason, more a combina-

tion of boredom, work pressure and parenting stress.

Frank moved out for a couple of months, but for the

kids, Ella and Jamie, they decided to give it another

try, on the condition — and it was Julie’s condition

— that they attend therapy. Frank found the therapy

bewildering and disorientating. It seemed Julie had

been making lists of complaints against him in her

head for years. She rolled out one complaint after the

other, each presented with anecdotes that he couldn’t

even remember. She seemed to be talking about an-

other marriage — someone else’s — and about anoth-

er Frank, one who was not very nice at all. In the end,

he had agreed to all of Julie’s demands for change in

the hope that he could get back to a quiet, ordered life.

Then there was the episode at the office Christ-

mas party. When was that? Maybe three years ago.

Everyone had been a bit drunk — that’s what these

parties were all about. Alicia from the advertising de-

partment had worn a very short, tight dress that she

seemed to be falling out of. Alicia was beautiful, and

all the men were fighting for her attention. At some

point during the evening, Frank and his colleague

Andrew had given up and gone to the bar. “Some-

one’s going to get lucky,” Andrew had said gloomily,

looking into his wine glass. “Call that lucky?” Frank

had said, perhaps a bit too loudly. “She’s such a slut.

And there’s hardly any bit of her that isn’t fake.” Frank

hadn’t noticed Alicia standing behind them. The

next morning, having been called to HR, he tried to

explain. It sounded defensive — even to Frank, who

was still hung-over. He was given a warning and told

to apologize personally to the victim.

The word “victim” had stuck in Frank’s memory. It

was a word that went with certain crimes — serious

crimes. As a boy, all of his father’s friends had talked

openly about women in the way that he and Andrew

had spoken about Alicia. When had that become a

crime?

Frank thought, though, that it was probably a re-

cent fight with his daughter, Ella, that had pushed

him over the edge.

Father and daughter had always been close. Ella

was like Frank: quiet, happy to be part of the group.

When she was small, Frank had often taken her fish-

ing. They had watched the same TV programmes,

had liked the same food. Now, Ella was 15. Beyond

Inside-out man

Frank führt eine unglückliche Ehe, seine Tochter hasst ihn und seine

Kolleginnen halten ihn für vollkommen durchgedreht. So langsam hat er genug

davon, von allen gesagt zu bekommen, dass er nicht richtig funktioniert –

schon bald wird er dem ein Ende bereiten. Von M. SIMONS

MEDIUM AUDIO

SHORT STORY

affable [(ÄfEb&l]

, umgänglich, freundlich

balding [(bO:ldIN]

, mit beginnender Glatze

bewildering

[bi(wIldEriN]

, irritierend, befremdlich

edge: push sb. over the ~

[edZ] ifml.

, jmdn. komplett fertig machen,

in den Wahnsinn treiben

flabby [(flÄbi]

, wabbelig

gloomily [(glu:mIli]

, finster, schwermütig

HR (human resources)

[)eItS (A:]

, Personalabteilung, Personal­

leitung

hung-over: be ~ [)hVN(EUvE]

, einen Kater haben

raging [(reIdZIN]

, wütend, außer sich

slut [slVt] ifml.

, Schlampe

SHORT STORY