Reader’s Digest India – August 2019

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Reader’s Digest

The first stage of a realistic baking

show would be each contestant trying

to open a jammed utensil drawer.

— @blade_funner

meaning a child. Theo-

dora was not very flu-

ent in English, but was

very candid in her re-

ply. “We are trying,

but it’s not coming!”

—SUNIL A. Kallikada

Thane, Maharashtra

My husband talks in

his sleep. Unfortu-

nately, he also snores,

so I sometimes give

him the wifely elbow.

“What?!” He de-

manded one night,

still mostly asleep.

“Turn over—you’re

snoring,” I said.

He did as instructed

and while doing so

muttered, “That’s

nothing; you should

hear my wife snore.”

—Karen Brungardt

Every yearfrom when

he was age five to 12,

screenwriter Daniel

Stiepleman would

receive a copy of the

United States Constitu-

tion as a gift from his

aunt, Supreme Court

Justice Ruth Bader

Ginsburg. “In my 20s,

I thought, Aha! She was

teaching me something

very important about

patriotism and law,”

he told The New Yorker.

“Now I’m in my 30s and

have kids of my own,

and I realize, no, she just

gets a discount at the Su-

preme Court gift shop.”

My neighbour texted

me, “I just made syno-

nym buns!” I texted

back, “You mean like

grammar use to make?”

I haven’t heard from

her since.

—Gerald L.

Loffredo

TAKE THE

BRAIN

FREEZE

QUIZ

You know how some-

times your brain can’t

conjure up a really simple

word but it somehow con-

structs an inspired substi-

tution? Here’s one from

@Bramptonmel: “My

17-year-old child forgot

the word foal and called

it a horse puppy instead.”

Twitter is filled with these

semi-precious gems. Try

to deduce these elusive

words (answers below):

1. A really REALLY
   wet salad.
   — @wesleymallin


2. How-far machine.
   — @hardleygirl
   (susan long)


3. One of the metal
   things with four
   stabby fingers.
   — @laurie_winkless


4. Arctic cabbage.
   — @GreyAreaUK


5. Meat pickle.
   — @AlistairDove

m.

u

na

lo

zm

en

/s

hu

tt

er

st

oc

k

ers: 1. soup, 2. tape answ

measure, 3. fork, 4. iceberg

lettuce, 5. hot dog