IL
LU
ST
RA
TI
ON
:^ S
AM
IS
LA
ND
session. Like many runners, I’m very proud of this kind of run/life multi-
tasking, but I missed him taking a catch and a wicket while mid-repeat,
which I’m not so proud of. So I’ll offer a class-action apology to all the
kids who have had moments missed.
Next up, the shoes. All the shoes. The disintegrating pair that
sentiment won’t let us chuck out because we PB-ed in them
14 years ago, the long-run shoes, the recovery-run shoes,
the race-day shoes, the several iterations of the trusted
favourite shoes...all of them scattered in the hall and
crammed into cupboards in gaudy, odorous affronts to
domestic feng shui. OK, you’re right, it’s time for a cull.
pologies, also, for the shoeboxes full of medals gradually
taking over the wardrobe from the base up, for the drawer
full of race finishers’ T-shirts we will never actually wear but can’t
bear to cart to the charity shop, and for the week’s worth of kit we
actually do wear that is currently festering in the giant petri dish
that was formerly the household laundry basket.
To complete this (probably incomplete) list of our misdemeanours,
let’s address the times when you may have imagined you would
get some respite from all of the above. Injuries may stop us
running, but the sulks must be unbearable. We growl around
the house like bears with sore metatarsal heads, wallowing
in self-pity and bemoaning the colossal injustice keeping us from
parkrun while others are enjoying theirs. It turns out there
is something worse than sharing your life with a runner
after all: sharing it with an injured runner.
For all of the above and everything else, from
the bottom of our monitored hearts and the
depths of our EVA-cushioned soles, we are
truly sorry. Thank you for accepting us as we
are and not forcing us to choose between those
we love and this thing we love to do. We promise to
try harder to find the right balance and to be there
when it counts. The Pegasus 4s are in the bin and we
will never again speak to you of our lactate threshold.
Anyway, must dash, I can still squeeze in a couple
of miles before the dinner party...
SEPTEMBER 2019 RUNNERSWORLD.COM/UK 061WRITTEN APOLOGY