FourFourTwo UK – September 2019

UPFROnT

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16 February 2016

UPFROnT

34 September 201

BEST&WORST

JournalistandauthorAndrewWoodsonHughJackman,AlanPartridgeandthekeeperwhochangedhisname

XI

BEST: Bryan Gunn, Max Aarons,Ian

Butterworth, Duncan Forbes,Robbie

Brady, Ruel Fox, Marco Stiepermann,

Darren Huckerby, James Maddison,

Ted MacDougall, Chris Sutton.

WORST: Michael Theoklitos,Ignasi

Miquel, Jurgen Colin, SteveWalsh,

Fernando Derveld, Papa SeydouDiop,

Mike Milligan, Mark Fotheringham,

Raymond de Waard, GaryDoherty,

Dean Coney.

PLAYER

B: Martin Peters [below]: Intermsof

medals, our greatest playerwas

a World Cup winner who putin a good

shift at Carrow Road while spendinghis

summers flogging windows.

W: Michael Theoklitos playedjust

once, but after conceding seven

against Colchester in August 2009 he

changed his name to MichaelTheo.

MOMEnT

B: Beating Bayern Munich awayin the

UEFA Cup – October 19, 1993.

W: Losing at Portman Roadvirtually

dropping us to the third (April19,2009).

KIT

B: Hummel’s kit (1984-85)had

detail galore, yet was understated

somehow. Nice V neck, some

textured stripes and chevronson

the sleeve. Silk shorts.

W: Xara made some horrifyingly

dull kits in the noughties;

2001-02 was the

nadir: the yellow of

a past-its-sell-by-

date mustard,

framedbyblackpiping.A kitaspiss-

poorasmanyoftheplayersinsideit.

nICKnAME

B:Daniel‘Winnetou’Farke, a name

givenhimbyhisformerbossat

SVLippstadt,asa nodtoa native

Americancharacterfroma seriesof

novels.Thisis Germanhumour.

W:Rob‘TheCharmer’Newman.Rob

wasnotanuglyman,buthewasno

JamesBond.Thenickname

seemedtorefertohisgiant

jaw,thatframedhisface

likea JCB’sscoop.

GOAL

B:Intermsofthe

rightgoaland

theright

occasion,it

hastobe

Gossyatthe

behold. He looks like a man from

a different era. The Neolithic era.

W: Ian Butterworth’s frizzy side-

parted bouffant had the wiry texture

of a guinea pig’s back.

SEASOn

B: 1992-93. Going to all the big grounds

and having zero fear.

W: 2008-09. Glenn Roeder’s magic

carpet ride to hell, or League One.

CHAnT

B: (To the tune of London Bridge Is

Falling Down) Simon Lappin, King of

Spain, King of Spain, King of Spain,

Simon Lappin, King of Spain, He looks

Spanish (copyright James Henderson)

W: The Monkees’ Daydream Believer

pastiche that tries to shoe-horn in the

name of every current Ipswich

manager, never mind the surfeit and

clunkiness of those pesky syllables.

AWAYTRIP

B:The 5-1 win at Portman

Road in 2011 was that

special moment when

the‘fruit machine of life’

justkept spitting out gold

nuggets.

W:Fulham in 2005. A 6-0

relegation horror show.

AWAY-DAY

DRInKS

B: The Faltering Fullback

behind Finsbury Park.

W: The Springbok near

LoftusRoad.Like drinking inside

a pauper’s coffin.

nORWICH CITY

Olympiastadion [above]. That’s the one

you’ll take to the next life.

W: Bryan Gunn’s ‘air kick’ own goal at

Portman Road in 1996. Oh my days.

CULT HERO

B: Currently

Onel Hernandez

[right], who’s

fallen madly in

love with Argos.

W: Luciano

Becchio. An

existential riddle.

Nobody, including

the man himself,

really understood

the concept of

Luciano Becchio.

HAIRCUT

B: Daniel Farke’sraver-turned-

antique-dealer curtains are a sight to

j