I
’msofrustratedwithmyteendaughter.I seesuchpotential,butshe
won’tstudyandjustwantstohangoutwithherfriends.Should I
giveheranultimatum – get her life on track or move out?
Keeley,Worcester
Answers on page 61
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24
JO SAYS:
It’snotclearfromyourquestionhowold
yourdaughterisbutanyteenagerisstilla
childandsoI wouldn’tbetoohardonher.
Weallreachmaturityatdifferenttimesandit’snotfairtoexpectan
18-year-oldtobereadytomoveoutif shestillfeelslikea 14-year-
oldinside.Herpotentialisherbusinessandyou’ddowelltostop
pressuringhertomeetherpotentialbecause,again,she’lldothat
whenshe’sready.I would,however,suggestif she’snotgoingto
studythatyoumakehomelifea luxury-freezoneforher. Explain
thatif she’snotgoingtopullherweightshecanexpect3-mealsa
daybuttherest(laundry,toiletries,wifi,phoneetc)isdowntoher.
If shewantsthesethingsshe’llhavetogeta joborknuckledownat
school and negotiate with you. This is a phase and it will pass.
PickMeUp!
readerJessfrom
YES Londonsays:
She’slivingunderyourroofand
youhaveeveryrighttomake
surethatshe’snotcoasting
along.Givingherthisultimatum
mightjustbewhatsheneedsto
kickstartthinkingaboutwhat
shereallywantsoutoflife.Sit
herdownandtellherthatyou
aregivinghera deadline.Make
it a reasonableamount of time
but stick with it.
PickMeUp!
readerVikkifrom
NO Cornwallsays:
Thatisn’tthesupportivething
todo.Shecouldjustbereally
scaredaboutthenextbigstage
ofherlifeandreallyunsure
ofwhattodo,andyou’lljust
bepushingheraway.Instead,
helpherfigureoutwhyshe’s
avoidingherstudies.Isshe
struggling?Wouldsheratherdo
somethingelse?Listenandoffer
solutions, not ultimatums.
Time wasting
Would tough love
help her shine?