92 SEPTEMBER 2019 WOMANSDAYMAGAZINE
Family / ALL THE MONEY QUESTIONS YOU’RE AFRAID TO ASK
My husband
was offered
his dream job,but it won’t pay as
much as his current
one. How should we
navigate this?
When it comes to career
goals, it’s not always
about the money.
“Start with a supportive
statement followed by
a question,” suggests
Stefanie O’Connell,
author of The Broke and
Beautiful Life. “You might
say, ‘I’m so excited for
you to follow your dream.
Let’s talk about how we
can adjust our lifestyle
to accommodate less
income.’ ” O’Connell
recommends making
a list of all your
household expenses
(pay close attention to
any potential changes
in benefits coverage).
“Then add a 10% buffer
for emergencies and
another 20% for financial
goals like paying down
debt and saving for
retirement,” she says.
That will help you see
exactly how much your
household needs, at
minimum, after taxes
each month.
My father passed away about a year ago,
and my mother, who has never had to
manage money, is now in charge of her
own financial well-being. How can I make sure
she’s protected without seeming intrusive?“In my experience, widows catch on pretty
quickly when given the responsibility,” says Quinn.
However, if your mom expresses concern to you,
that’s your opening. Try asking, “How are you doing
with all the paperwork that came with Dad’s death?
Can I help?” Or, “Are Dad’s investments right for
you, or would you like to see other options?” Quinn
also recommends helping your mom simplify her
finances—collect scattered CDs and IRAs, sell
complicated investments such as real estate, and
set up good financial records. She should also find
someone she trusts to hold her power of attorney.
“Ask your mother if it’s OK to join her when she
meets with her financial adviser,” Quinn adds. Pay
attention to how the advice correlates with your
mom’s goals: “Always be the counselor, not the
active party. Work out what your mom wants and
feels comfortable with, but don’t push for your way.”Q
I’m concerned that my siblings
will fight over what to do with my
parents’ assets when they die. They
have a will, but how can we all get along?Encourage your parents to
divide everything equally in
their will, says Jane Bryant
Quinn, AARP financial
journalist and author of How to
Make Your Money Last. After
they die, liquidate all financial
assets, like stocks. For anything
one sibling wants to keep, like
the house, find out the cash
value and have him or her buy
the others out. Give your parents
a list of the personal items
each of you wants: If there’s a
disagreement, they make the
final decision. Or decide by
lottery—for each contested item,
pick a name out of a hat.
What’s the
best strategy
for merging
finances with my
new husband?
Think about your
marriage as a team,
says Malani. “The more
in sync you are money-
wise, the easier it will
be to tackle tough times
together.” She suggests
opening a joint checking
account and depositing
both paychecks in it.
That way, each person
can see what’s coming
in and going out. Then
decide on an amount or
percentage each of you
can move into a separate
checking account to be
spent as you please.
Some couples fight
over spending style—
one is a natural saver,
while the other spends
freely. One word can
help you avoid these
arguments: goals.
“No matter how
different your habits,
what really matters is
how your visions for the
future align,” O’Connell
says. Do you want a
bigger house? A trip
to Hawaii? Make a plan
together about how to
achieve your goals, and
encourage each other
along the way.Q
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