T
here are times when change
brings glaringly obvious shifts in
your life and relationships, such
as the changes that come with
marriage, becoming a parent, starting
a new job, divorce or moving to a new
house. But there are other times in life
when change is subtle.
Subtle change builds over time and is
often felt before it is realised. You may find
yourself thinking, “I’m not quite sure what
has changed but something just doesn’t
feel right any more.”
You may notice you feel less joyful and
more overwhelmed and stressed. You
may experience more tiredness, poor
sleep, a lack of motivation, headaches
or foggy thinking. While your emotional
landscape may have changed, knowing
what is causing that shift can be harder
to pinpoint.
Maybe the long daily commute to work
is wearing you down. Maybe your career
aspirations have changed and no longer
match your current job. Or perhaps you no
longer feel happy living in the city or are
craving novelty in your life.
Because these changes are subtle and
have built over months or even years, they
can go unnoticed for a long time. What had
been working so well in your life can stop
working. Yet, when you continue to live in
the same way, tension starts to build.
When this happens, your body and your
emotions will let you know that something
has shifted and needs your attention.
Knowing how to “hear” your body and
identify what has changed will help you
respond effectively to change, while also
keeping your stress levels in check.5 WAYS TO RESPOND
TO CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE- Develop emotional awareness
How aware are you of the changes that
happen in your body and mind? Being
able to notice what has changed and
shifted within you allows you to develop
your emotional awareness. Building your
emotional awareness will help you notice
and respond to change early and effectively.
I wasn’t always conscious of the
changes happening in my life during
the first year of my son’s life (no doubt
due to being busy and sleep-deprived).
I was aware, however, when life felt out
of balance and I was feeling frustrated,
exhausted, unmotivated and less joyful
than I’d normally feel.
One day I remember thinking, “Why
has everything gone from feeling great to
feeling hard? What is different?” Tracking
back through the preceding few weeks
in my mind and looking for the areas of
tension in my life, I realised that a massive
shift had happened — and I’d missed it.
My son had moved into a new
developmental stage and was becoming
curious and wanted to explore the world.
He didn’t want to sit or be inside much. So,
while I was still taking him to cafes (which
he used to love) and playing at home instead
of outdoors, he was becoming frustrated,
which in turn was also affecting me.
My son had changed but I hadn’t.
When I realised this, I was able to make
some changes. I stopped going to cafes
and started going to the park twice a day
and I organised more play-dates. These
changes made a huge difference to his
behaviour and happiness. Life started to
return to a happier state of flow.
Being busy and always on the go can
make it harder to notice changes in your
life and emotions. When you are busy,
it’s not just your diary that is full but
also your mind. Busyness can keep your
emotions buried — that is, until they
become big enough to cause a problem
and grab your attention.
Your emotions are your guide. By
slowing down and intentionally setting
time aside to check in with yourself, you
can start to notice what is happening
internally. By building emotional
awareness, you can notice early shifts
in your thoughts and feelings and take
proactive steps to respond in a healthy
and productive way.Action Tips
Check-in: Have a daily or weekly check-in
with yourself to notice how you feel, what
thoughts are running through your mind
and if there is any tension in your body.
During your check-in time with yourself, try
answering these four questions:- How am I really feeling about life at
the moment? - What is working really well?
- What has changed?
- What feels like it is no longer working?
Journal to find clarity: Regularly putting
pen to paper is a great way to get out of your
head and notice how you are feeling about
your life and the challenges you are facing.
Mindfulness meditation: Regular
mindfulness meditation allows you to slow
down and create space in your mind so you
can notice the subtle shifts in your body
and emotions.
Notice your language: How you describe
your life to those around you provides
valuable insight into what is happening at
a deeper level. Listen to how you speak to
friends and family and notice if you sound
overly stressed, tired or overwhelmed.
Notice your reactions: Knowing what stress
feels like for you in your body will allow you
to notice and respond to any tension building
in your life. Do your shoulders become
tense, do you get headaches, or does your
sleep suffer?
Shifting with change
When change happens in life, it can be a shock or a more subtle shifting under the surface.
Either way, change can rewrite the rules and challenge your assumptions and expectations
about what works, what the future holds and even how you perceive yourself.Wo rds JESSICA LEE10 signs that subtle change
is affecting you
- Frustration
- Reduced happiness
- Restlessness
- Discontent
- Overwhelm
- Exhaustion
- Low mood
- Feeling out of control
- Not feeling as fulfi lled
- Not getting the same results
60 | wellbeing.com.au
mind
CHANGE