The Daily Telegraph - 19.08.2019

he manager.

The boss. The

man with his

bum in the

bacon slicer.

The gaffer.

No role in sport

provokes more scrutiny,

nor attracts more ridicule

and contempt. A BT Sport

film meets six of these

curious creatures, all

operating at the same

level, and the outcome is

entertaining and

revealing and, in a very

English way, quietly yet

profoundly eccentric.

Director Ben Lowe has

gathered Neil Smith of

Bromley, Simon Weaver

of Harrogate Town, Ben

Strevens of Eastleigh,

Craig Hignett of

Hartlepool United and,

at Maidstone United, a

double act comprising

head of football John Still

and head coach Hakan

Hayrettin.

All competed in the

2018-2019 National

Dissecting

those irate

King Lears

in their

tracksuits

The Gaffer adds to

that rich tradition

of behind-the-

scenes watching

of managers,

writes Alan Tyers

not the first manager to

struggle with the gulf

between the guys at his

disposal and his own

playing level. He brings

the famed Merseyside wit

to bear upon the

“monkey hangers”,

breezing into the

treatment room to joke

“this is where all the

skivers are” and

suggesting that the

medical waste bin will

soon be an ideal

receptacle for one

bemused crock.

Supervising penalty-

taking in training, he

hoots with affable

derision as one forward

blooters an attempted

chip a mile over, before

demonstrating how it is

done with a floated,

delicate dink that nestles

in the corner. Craig’s win

percentage across his two

spells at Victoria Park?

30.7 per cent.

Being too good at

football is not a problem

faced by anyone else in

the film. Still, at

Maidstone, who has a

thousand League games

under his managerial

belt, came out of

retirement to be a steady

hand on the tiller, and to

mentor Hayrettin. Their

partnership most

resembles a Derek and

Clive sketch, with high

levels of furious disgust

and industrial language

deployed as they watch

their hapless charges

make the same mistakes

over and over. This

belongs to a rich tradition

of behind-the-scenes

manager watching, from

An Impossible Job via

John Sitton in Orient:

Club for a Fiver. The

cardiologist must be on

speed dial.

Smith, at Bromley,

presents as an absolute

gent, a pillar of the

community. Weaver, at

Harrogate, is in the

unusual, nightmarish

position of being the son

of the chairman: “The

fear of letting my father

down gives me sleepless

nights.” Maybe all

managers, with their

need for approval, have

got daddy issues

somewhere in the mix.

Strevens, at Eastleigh,

has only just hung up his

playing boots, and is

negotiating the transition

from being one of the

boys to the manager.

He delivers the film’s nut:

“When you are on the

pitch you cannot really

hear what the manager is

shouting, and often on

the touchline it’s just you

shouting your own

frustrations anyway.”

This is the fascination

of the manager, is it not?

We all wonder what

exactly they do. Leaving

aside recruitment and

training: team talks.

On this access-all-areas

evidence, these are as

they have always been:

a middle-aged guy whose

mood ranges from

manically overstimulated

to furiously apoplectic

yelling at lads who barely

seem to be listening.

The Manchester City

series All Or Nothing

allowed us to see Pep

Guardiola doing his

dressing-room rally

and, it seems, whatever

the level of football, it

is essentially the same:

exhortations to be

determined, brave,

together, etc. You might as

well be talking to the wall.

None of these blokes is

a Guardiola, not that

there is any shame in

that, but each tries to put

his finger on why they do

it at their less exalted

station. Hayrettin

reckons “when you lose it

is the loneliest job in the

world”.

Perhaps their function

is no more or less than to

give the fans somebody to

take out their frustrations

on and, these days, to be

sacked regularly so that

blood can be let and the

beast can be fed.

Master of his domain

and yet totally at the

mercy of circumstance,

where would we be

without these raging

King Lears in their

monogrammed

tracksuits, these gum-

chewing sponges for our

own failings and fury?

The Gaffer (Saturday,

9pm, BT Sport 1)

In the hot seat: Craig Hignett is in his second spell as first-team manager at Hartlepool United

T

‘Often on the

touchline

it’s just you

shouting

your own

frustrations’

In tomorrow’s Sport section

The best football analysis

Jason Burt on the game’s

big talking points

League, the fifth tier of

English football.

Hignett is the sole

name definitely familiar

to those for whom

football means “the

Premier League”, and is

NURPHOTO VIA GETTY IMAGES

Final whistle

28 *** Monday 19 August 2019 The Daily Telegraph
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