Daily Mail, Monday, August 19, 2019 Page 33
Keep your face
always towards
the sunshine - and
the shadows will
fall behind you
WALT WHITMANby Dr John Gottman & Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman
W
e all want the fairy-
tale marriage, the
one that lasts from
wedding night to
50th anniversary and
beyond. The love of a lifetime.
But what does it take to get it?
after 40 years studying precisely that,
we think we know. In a Seattle labora-tory inevitably known as The love lab,
we’ve amassed a huge amount of data
from observational and self-reported
studies involving many thousands of
couples, and analysed it using advanced
mathematical models. and now we’ve
reached a point where we can tell you,with confidence, what separates a
successful marriage from one that’s
doomed to fail.
The big secret to creating a love that
lasts and grows over time is simple.
Make dedicated, non-negotiable time
for each other a priority, and never stopbeing curious about your partner. Don’t
assume you know who they are today
just because you went to bed with
them the night before. In short, never
stop asking questions. But ask the
right kind of questions.
Four decades of research have led us
to the eight topics that matter most to
relationships — trust and commitment;TURN TO NEXT PAGE
The
YOUR marriage
last for ever
8 dates
that could make
Have dinner
naked (yes,
really). Discuss
dreams for the
future at dawn.
A radical book
by the world’s
top relationship
counsellors
reveals...
Picture: JANA CRUDER/THE LICENSINGPROJECT.COM