Jacob Rees-Mogg
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I
t is rare that losing a day at Lord’s
for a Test match is welcome. I had
expected to be watching England play
Ireland with my wife and two of my
children on the Thursday before last.
Instead, much to my delight, Boris
Johnson asked me to become Leader
of the House of Commons and Lord
President of the Council, so I had my
first cabinet meeting, my first outing at
the Despatch Box and first Privy Council
meeting. Anselm, my fourth child,
went to the cricket in my place so was
equally pleased.
T
he joy in joining the government is,
naturally, in part personal but mainly
because we will now leave the European
Union on 31 October. Something that
would not have happened with any
other possible prime minister. I have
immediately gone ‘native’ as I am deeply
impressed by the civil service. My new
private secretary had a full briefing
ready for me at 11.30 at night and was on
parade at seven the next morning with
a full team to continue the preparations
for my first appearance as Leader of the
House. I had previously thought only
corporate bankers worked such hours.
M
ost interest in my appointments
seems to have focused on my
list of banned words. Not quite the
famous ‘Index’ of banned books but a
few specimens of bureaucratese that
I particularly dislike. My apologies to
those who wrote in to note that ‘going
forward’ was not on the list — it is an
otiose phrase that will be included in any
future editions. Generally, my aim is to
be polite to my constituents, who after all
employ me — to address them correctly
and be clear. Also I dislike the Oxford
comma but that is mere prejudice.
I
laughed out loud at Craig Brown’s
thoughtful additions to my list,
especially his view on rocket science:
‘One simply lights the blue touch paper
and steps back. A day or two later, one or
two of your best chaps find themselves
on the moon...’ No doubt many people
will follow his example and use the
words ‘egad’ and ‘zounds’ more often,
although personally I prefer ‘oddsfish’
which was much employed by Charles
II. It is a corruption of ‘God is a fish’, as
zounds is of ‘God’s wounds’.R
eturning to Somerset after all the
activities in London is inevitably a
pleasure, not least as during school holidays
my family stays there while I am in London
fending for myself. There is additionally
the fascinating work of a constituency
MP, which included a recent shift with the
local police. We met at the old Keynsham
police station at eight in the evening, whenI joined two local policemen who had
grown up in the town so know it well.
This was invaluable in dealing with a
disorderly 16-year-old: one of the police
officers rang the boy’s mother, which
solved the problem. I was also struck
by how much falls on the police that
is essentially social work or properly
that of other services. We attended to
a man who had had an accident on his
motorbike and when no ambulance
came for an hour and a half, we took
him directly to the Bath Royal United
Hospital. As the man could have had a
back injury this was a risk but the police
could not just leave him there, nor could
they wait indefinitely. The RAC had
still not come to collect his damaged
bike another hour later although it had
promised to. As I am with the AA,
I do not know if this is typical.E
arlier in the day I had been to a
presentation by local teenagers
involved in National Citizen Service.
This was in Bath at the Salvation Army
building and was the antidote to any
complaint about the next generation.
I listened to three presentations about
community projects, all of which
sought to help local people and were
particularly focused on the elderly and
mental health issues. National Citizen
Service takes up a big chunk of their
summer holidays and I had not realised
how impressive its work is and the real
opportunities it gives to the participants,
including training in public speaking,
something that can often be useful.F
inally, the chairman of Portmeirion
Group wrote to the Telegraph
pointing out that I seem to have
‘photobombed’ a picture of a Spode Blue
Italian cup and saucer that was on the
paper’s front page. The said china had
been moved to my new parliamentary
office along with my style guide. I hope
that it will also continue to be used
at Somerset Capital Management,
the company I founded in 2007 with
Dominic Johnson and Ed Robertson.
Sadly, on taking public office I have
had to leave, which is a great wrench
even though I had been effectively
non-executive for some time.