Roddenberry’s archival papers and
the small writing staffs of the 1960s,
we can get to an answer for you
by process of elimination and this
episode’s unique pivot point in Star
Tre k staffi ng – dated, according to
the fi nal shooting script, to basic
and fi rst-change pages for the
“risk” speech on Page 46, from
November 20, 1967.
So, of the known writing staff:
Gene L. Coon: The series’
legendary mid-era story engine
and rewrite man, in the one
writer-producer slot under
Gene Roddenberry, had just
left – whether by exhaustion,
or a difference with Gene over
increased humor in dialogue and02 JohnT.
Dugan’s
original“story
document”...
03 ...andthe
shootingscript
of“Returnto
Tomorrow.”
bought scripts, or both. Coon
had put in his notice back on
September 5, and played out his
transition duties within the month.
By November he was nowhere
near the series offi ce.
John Meredyth Lucas:
Coon’s successor, a writer-director-
producer picked up quickly from
the neighboring Mannix TV team,
was overwhelmed to drop in at
mid-season and survive through to
season’s end – beginning with his
own script for “Patterns of Force,”
long in work before his hiring and
slated in as Episode 52, followed by
his choice to prep and direct Dorothy
Fontana’s “The Ultimate Computer”
right after. Part of Lucas’ transitiondeal:asidefromtakingspecscripts
andpitches,thosewouldbehis
firstprojects– whichleaveshim
outofthehuntonEpisode51.
“JohnKingsmith”:The
lonecreditedwriteron“Return
toTomorrow,”Episode51,was
actuallytheoriginalstorypitcher:a
professor-turned-writernamedJohn
T. Dugan. Thatpseudonymgives
youa cluethathewasnowhere
nearthescript,though,asDugan’s
progressandtonecausedhimto
be“cutoff”aftera coupleoftries
byOctober11.SowithCoongone,
andLucasstartingwithEpisode
52,GeneRoddenberryhadagreed
tojumpbackin andpolishthis
scripthands-onhimself,delivering
theshootingdraftonNovember
20 – andthatspeechonNovember
22 – justastheshowwentbefore
camerasonNovember20!
Fortherecord,Dugan’sprose
“storydocument,”lastrevisedMay
8, hadparaphrasedthemomentas
“Kirkagrees:It couldmeana leap
aheadin knowledgefor‘modern’
manofthousandsofyears.Buthe’s
notgoingtoaskanyoneelseto
riskit.”
Whichleavesonly...
GeneRoddenberry:In fact,
notonlywasGenethe“last
manstanding”totacklethefinal
versionofthedialogue,hehad
initiallybeentakentoWriters
GuildarbitrationwhenDugan
contestedbeingbumpeddownto
a “storyby”creditonly.It is also
whystoryeditorDorothy“D.C.”
Fontana did not take a turn on the
“rewrites,” busy with her own script
for “By Any Other Name.”
Yet Dugan’s surprise victory in
his WGA case was not only ironic
but pyrrhic, as he was incensed at
the beings’ “fade out” oblivion.
Because of that – along with the
fact that much of his dialogue and
tone remained from his October
11 second draft – “winner” Dugan
demanded his “Kingsmith”
pseudonym be used for his solo,
unshared credit.
How about that, Alan? For
once, the dialogue forensics maze
was easy.
And by the way, Kirk’s famous
line occurs... in this episode’s
Scene 47.THE HOLODECKGene Roddenberry had agreed to jump back in
and polish this script hands-on himself.
02
03