More of Our Canada – September 01, 2019

FUNNY STUFF

Some Rules
Are Meant to
Be Broken

While cleaning out
some old boxes, I
came across this list
of “1915 Rules for
Teachers,” handwrit-
ten on a scrap of paper.
I have no idea where
it originated from, or
who the author is. Does
anyone know if this
was, in fact, a true set
of rules, or was it
perhaps someone’s idea
of a joke? If true, we
have certainly come
a long way in the past
104 years!

Louise McGorman,

Abbotsford, B.C.

A Bad Sweet Tooth

My wife dropped off two rather

large chocolate bars on the

kitchen counter then hurried

out the door. They had a clear

wrapper and the chocolate had

a pale orange colour to it.

Without my glasses, I could

read the word “apricot” written

across the label. I quickly

opened one and bit off a big

chunk. It was the most horrible,

foul-tasting thing I ever put

in mouth. I spat it out and

wrapped the bar back up. My

wife came home and looked

at the bar that was opened.

“You didn’t try to eat this did

you?” she asked. “Of course

not,” I replied. Upon further

inspection, however, she came

up to me in the living room

and said, “You left teeth marks

in my foot wax.” Busted.

Mike Mineau, Schreiber, Ont.

1915 RULES

FOR^ TEACH

ERS^

1.^ You^ will^ not^ marry^ d

uring^

terms^ of^ your^ contract.

2. You^ are^ not^ to^ keep^ com

pany^

with^ men.

3. You^ must^ be^ home^ be

tween^

the^ hours^ of^8 p.m.^ and^6 a

.m.^

unless^ attending^ a^ scho

ol

function.

4.^ You^ may^ not^ loiter^ d

owntown^

in^ ice^ cream^ stores.

5. You^ may^ not^ travel^ bey

ond^

the^ city^ limits^ unless^ yo

u have^

the^ permission^ of^ the^ cha

irman^

of the^ board.

6.^ You^ may^ not^ ride^ in^ a

carriage^

or^ automobile^ with^ any^ m

an^

unless^ he^ is^ your^ father^ or

brother.

7.^ You^ may^ not^ smoke^ c

igarettes.

8. You^ may^ not^ dress^ in^ b

right^

colours.

9. You^ may^ under^ no^ circ

um-

stances^ dye^ your^ hair.

10.^ You^ must^ wear^ at^ lea

st two^

petticoats.

11.^ Your^ dress^ must^ not^ b

e shorter^

than^ two^ inches^ above^ th

e

ankle.

12.^ To^ keep^ the^ school^ ne

at and^

clean,^ you^ must^ sweep^ the

floor^

at least^ once^ daily,^ scrub^ th

e

floor^ at^ least^ once^ a^ week

with^

hot^ soapy^ water,^ clean^ the

blackboards^ at^ least^ once^ a

day,^

and^ start^ the^ fire^ at^7 a.m

. so^ the^
room^ will^ be^ warm^ by^8 a.m

62 More of Our Canada SEPTEMBER 2019