The Grocer – 17 August 2019

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PB | The Grocer | 17 August 2019 Get the full story at thegrocer.co.uk Get the full story at thegrocer.co.uk 17 August 2019 | The Grocer | 49

Would you drink vodka

made with grain and

water from the Chernobyl

exclusion zone? Us nei-

ther, but University of

Portsmouth scientists

have come up with such

a tipple, tastefully named

‘Atomik’, and insist it’s

safe to consume.

The Chernobyl Spirit

Co are planning to sell

it, and will give pro ts to

communities a ected by

the disaster.

Taste the spirit

of Chernobyl

ad of the week: Taylors of Harrogate takes us on a witty journey through history

Given the popularity

of the teabag, it’s

strange that the co ee

equivalent isn’t as much

a part of Brits’ daily lives.

Taylors of Harrogate ’s

new ad acknowledges

this. “Why didn’t they

think of this before?”

asks a woman, savouring

a co ee. Taylors answers

by taking us on a

journey through history,

showing the idea being

thwarted in ways from

the deadly (a hot air

balloon disaster) to the

banal (the playing up of

a 1980s mobile phone).

A frustrated sailor and

a kite-high hippie make

amusing contributions.

The Taylors logo is

present throughout –

acting as a reminder of

the brand’s heritage, as

well as a mea culpa on

the not-having-thought-

of-co ee-bags front.

Such warm and witty

self-deprecation is to be

welcomed.

Ben’s Best bats

for Bernie in

president push

In the US, the Democrats

have yet to decide which

candidate they are to put

up against Donald Trump

in the 2020 election – 24

hopefuls remain.

Ice cream brand Ben &

Jerry’s is backing social-

ist Bernie Sanders the

only way it knows how:

with a limited-edition

tub. ‘Bernie’s Back’ is a

hot cinnamon  avour

• which symbolises
  Sanders’ holding poli-
  ticians’ feet to the  re,
  apparently. What a tasty
  image!
  The ice cream also

has a butter to ee ‘back-

bone’ ( geddit?) and if that

hasn’t sucked enough of

the fun out, a chocolate

disc ‘represents all the

wealth that has risen to

the top 1%’. Yay!

The online-only ‘treat’

is being marketed not

under the usual B&J

brand, but as ‘Ben’s Best’.

We don’t know if Jerry

has other plans, but one

imagines Donald Trump

is looking into his own

 avour (white nationalist

chocolate?) as a matter of

u rgenc y.

Bernie’s Back: ice cream fit for a presidential candidate

Apparently men are

eschewing reusable

shopping bags because

they’re worried it makes

them look gay.

A Pennsylvania State

University study revealed

that many saw green

behaviours like recycling

and having a bag for life

as ‘feminine’, and that,

consequently, men might

avoid them in the name

of gender conformity

(women didn’t care about

their gender ‘actions’,

unsurprisingly).

At least the resultant

environmental apoca-

lypse will bump o all

the homophobes! Oh,

and everyone else.

Feminine: a man saving the

planet (identity concealed)

A gay way to

save the world?

C

all me a backslider, darlings, but I’m no

longer altogether sure a no-deal Brexit

is going to be a good thing. Keep it to

yourselves. If the news gets out there’ll be riots in

Gerrards Cross, and, heaven knows, Waitrose will

have to ration anchovy focaccia or something.

There are some scary numbers out there,

and also some shiny-bo nced bo ns who are

predicting that a no-deal Bwrecksit might shave

the small matter of, ooh, £100bn or so o the

economy. Now that would be a crying shame,

darlings, since we’d no longer be able to return

the country to the golden age of zero crime, Stork

margarine and hospital matrons with starched

gowns and frilly hats, just like BoJo promised.

Not only that, some analysts reckon we’ll be

spending £4bn or so less on eating out. How

in heaven’s name they got hold of my expense

account for last year I’ll never know, but it’s all

strictly deniable and if they think I’m closing

my tab at The Ledbury , they can dream on. Even

if it does mean a little extra trimming in other

departments. Who needs all those orphanages,

anyway? The food they serve is awful, I hear.

Perhaps ‘The Saj’ – I know, munchkins, it’s

pathetic but let’s humour him – can  nally do

something with business rates to help out. It’s

quite alarming to see the baby-faced James

Lowman team up with Steve ‘Divi’ Murrells and

Tesco’s ‘Drastic’ Dave Lewis in a bi d to clobber the

online boys with a sales tax. The next thing you

know, they’ll all be huddling in a darkened room

to try to guarantee the supply of exotic foreign

foodstu s like cheese and lettuce on 1 November.

You can do time for that, you know.

DONNA

PSEY

FOOD RETAIL EXPORT IMPORT & TRADE MINISTER

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