OUTSPAN MINI DRIVE
7 AUGUST 2019 AUTOCAR.CO.UK 57
MORE EDIBLE
MOTORING TREATS
TO SAVOUR
Δ the accelerator and brake, your
le f t mu s t d a n g le f r om t he s e at i nt o
the central corridor that runs along
muc h of t he O r a n ge ’s f lo or.
The weird driving position will
nevertheless prove a lesser trouble
should your journeying occur on
a w a r m d ay. None of t he w i ndow s
open, the temperature within soon
turning as hot as a harvest-ripening
sun. There are a couple of vents,
but they only dribble air when the
O r a n ge i s i n mot ion.
Speaking of motion, it’s a surprise
to discover that the Orange corners
with the quicksilver zest of a
standard Mini, the steering instantly
sharp and the tight-packed chassis
unexpectedly resistant to understeer,
at least at low speeds. With more
ambitious pace – and 30-40mph
feels ambitious in a globe with the
head room to support top-hats – the
Orange succumbs to corkscrew
pitching that could quickly turn into
a headline-grabbing incident. It’s
easy to imagine the Orange toppling
and rolling away, the tangerine orb
advancing like a giant bowling ball
attacking a cluster of skittles. It
w ou ld b e h a rd not t o l au g h , i f pa i n f u l
for all occupants other than the
belted driver, his fellow passengers
f lung around the padded cabin like
socks in a tumble dryer.
Happily, if not for onlookers in
ne e d of e nt e r t a i n me nt , t h i s O r a n ge
remains upright at all times. Its
womb-like orange world proves
oddly soothing despite the threat
of toppling and despite the pith-
t a k i n g l a c k of pa c e. Muc h mor e t h a n
40mph is pushing the juicer, 30mph
de c ide d l y w i s e r i f y ou’r e t o c ont i nue
enjoying the Orange’s charms.
Many of these emerge merely by
staring at it. The more you look, the
more thoughtfulness you see. There’s
that green fibreglass stalk moulded
into a depression in the Orange’s roof.
Its rind suffers with heavy orange-
peel – “it takes ages to wash because
of the dimples”, says owner Sandy
Delgarno, who displays the car at
the Grampian Transport Museum
- while a palm-filling glassfibre
orange doubles as the door handle
to the fruit’s psychedelic womb. The
familiar brick-like tail-lights of a
M i n i h a n g jau nt i l y f r om it s r u mp, t he
headlights hide behind fairings andmuch of the glass is orange tinted.
That once included the windscreen,
but the law no longer allows the
d r i v e r a mor e op t i m i s t ic a l l y hue d
view of the world. Never mind. No
car I’ve ever driven has triggered
so many smiles, so many looks of
startlement, so many fumblings for
smartphones and so many thumbs-
up for every mile driven. It’s the
ultimate orange sales aid. L W
ITHTHANKS
TOTHEGRAMPIANTRANSPORT
MUSEUM,^ GT
M.ORG.UKWIENERMOBILE
There’s more than one of these
grimly obscene-looking machines,
the first of them extruded in 1936
by the US’s Oscar Mayer sausage
company. Wienermobiles are
well enough known to have their
own Wikipedia entry. Drivers are
recruited from university and
known, possibly unfortunately
these days, as Hotdoggers.
Vehicles sacrificed for the sizzling
task range from a Willys Jeep to
V8-powered trucks and, most
recently, the Mini Cooper S.
CADBURY’S
CREME EGG CAR
Rather more durable and decidedly
less munchable than the chocolate
product it advertises, the Creme
Egg car was commissioned by
Cadbury-Schweppes in the late
1980s. It is based on a Bedford
Rascal van and five were built,
their ovoid forms resembling
a less healthy version of the
Outspan Mini. Corgi Toys makes
a model of the car that, slightly
disappointingly, proves inedible.
CHEESEBURGER CAR
This unappetising wheeled burger
i s to b e fo u n d i n K a n s a s C i t y,
promoting the bap-bracketed food
medley that awaits you within
the Westport Flea Market, should
your cravings remain undimmed.
Should that be the case, your five-
patty burger awaits, floating in an
ocean of chips and with no mention
of a defibrillator side order.
`
The orange
corners with the
quicksilver zest of
a standard Mini
a
It’s a s w i d e a s a 7.5-to n n e l o r r y ; e n g i n e i s a n 848cc BM C A-se r i es; w i n d scr e e n u se d to b e o ra n g e to o , b u t th a t wa s s a d l y o u t l awed