Cosmopolitan USA – September 2019

This house-that’s-not-his-house IS cute though.

What it’s like

to date

a

guy who

lives at home

*Dro

wns

ou

tt

he

so

un

d

of

m

mo

s’

av

uc

mu

*

Hooking up with a 23-year-old who resides

with his parents: standard. But when you’re both

older...and you still have to tiptoe past

their bedroom in order to get your own? #Halp.

After dating many men who’ve failed to launch,

I’ve got some wisdom for you.

He’s got a

super-nice pad

Sure, it’s 90 minutes

deep into the ‘burbs,

but hey: four bed-

rooms and a hot tub.

You meet the

parents ASAP

They’re going

to adore you from

the moment you say

hello, so expect

bonus birthday

gifts this year.

A fully stocked

kitchen

A pantry stuffed with

variety snack packs

and every single

spice for that one

time you spontane-

ously want to cook.

Lots of fun

date plans

He’s a master at

adventures out-

side the house, like

paddleboarding

or honey tasting

at a local farm.

He’s got,

uh, older

roommates

And they have a

strict “no guests

after NCIS” rule.

You’ll get the

hard sell

You know how a car

salesman tries to

push a wreck that

“has a few good

miles left”? That, but

with an adult man.

An always

crowded house

Boundaries are

nonexistent, and

that includes when

you’re in what

you thought was a

locked bathroom.

Sex in random

places

Sounds hot in

theory, but talk to

me the next time you

get caught naked

in the back of a

car by state police.

PRO CON

s’loraC

ap

cn

ka

e

rb

ea

kf

as

ts

ar

en

ext

• lev

el?

“For two years, I

dated a guy who

had moved back

in with his parents.

His family

was amazing and

accepting—we

hung out there a

lot, and at times,

it felt like I lived

there. We didn’t

stay together, but

it gave me insight

as to how I might

share my space

and compromise

on noise and

decor options.”

—ASHLEY, 25

“We were poor,

fresh-outta-college

kids dating

long-distance.

He was living

in his parents’

basement—eating

their food, using

their internet, etc.

Meanwhile, I was

living on my

own. There’s a

level of maturity

that comes with

paying your own

bills. I felt like he

sometimes couldn’t

understand that,

which made me

resent him a little.”

—ELIZABETH, 29

“My ex graduated

and got a sick

job but quit after

less than a year

to move back in

with his parents

and work in the

family business.

I’d commute more

than two hours

each way to see

him. When I got

my dream job in

the city, he was

mad about it, so

we broke up. Later,

he admitted

he was intimidated

by my success.”

—LESLIE, 21

“I went on a date

with a guy who

was 24 or 25 and

lived at home.

After the date,

we went upstairs

to his parents’

game room to

watch TV, and

his little brother

was in there and

refused to leave.

Watching this guy

and his brother

fight over wanting

to be alone

in a room in their

parents’ house

was just too

much for me.”

—HELEN, 33

TALES FROM THE FRONT LINES

HIS MOM’S BASEMENT

By ALLY HIRSCHLAG

lust

AL

AM

Y.

90 Cosmopolitan September 2019