Things we should have known
but
just
figured outWe, the Cosmo staff, (a) are decently smart humans but also (b) definitely
missed the memo on these semi-important life lessons.“I didn’t know
that you should
change your
underwear
every day until I
was 19. At that
point, I was only
switching them
out every time
I showered...
so, like, three
times a week.
My college
roommates were
talking about
it, and I was
like, ‘WHAT?!’
NO ONE TOLD
ME.”
—ANONYMOUS,
TO PROTECT HER
FAMILY, 29CONFESSION
SThemoreyouknow
...“I believed
‘nauseous’ only
meant ‘light-
headed’...until
I told my friend
last week that
I felt nauseous
and she asked,
‘Are you going
to throw up?’
and I said, ‘No,
I’m nauseous,
you dummy.’
I should be
nicer....”
—HANNAH
CHAMBERS, 25“I just realized that Keanu Reeves
and Adam Driver are different
people. I haven’t watched any of
their stuff, but I always see them on
my Twitter timeline and I assumed
that Keanu was, like...one of
Adam’s characters.”
—KATIE CZERWINSKI, 21“I told my friend
that my ideal
toast time is a
level 3, for three
minutes. She
informed me
that the numbers
on the toaster
dial actually
indicate
degrees of
darkness.”
—TAYLOR
ANDREWS, 24“Last week, I
learned that
Black Friday
is called Black
Friday because
it’s when
companies
are typically
making a profit,
aka ‘in the
black,’ instead
of losing money,
or ‘in the red.’
Um, I also
always thought
the opposite of
‘in the red’ was
‘in the green.’”
—PATTY
CAMEROTA, 24thelessyoukno
w,
yo
u
kn
ow
?“So, cold brew
is *not* just a
fancy name for
regular iced
coffee....
I found out
after chugging
one and
almost having
a caffeine-
induced heart
attack.”
—SARAH
WELDON, 24AdultingEdi
tion!26 Cosmopolitan September 2019
you
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