Cosmopolitan USA – September 2019

CHO

OSE Y

OUR OWN ADVEN

TUR

E

Take our day-from-hell test and see how you do.

By SARAH WELDON

STAR

T

Good morning, sunshine! So

sorry to break it to you, but it’s

not actually Saturday like

you thought it was. It’s Friday.

And it’s now 11:07 a.m., since

you forgot to set your alarm.

What’s your move?

B.

I’m never

not crying

on the way

to work, so

this seems

about right.

GO TO 6

A.

This is too

much for

today. I’m

delegating to

my assistant,

Mom.

END

B.

I’m gonna take this

opportunity to finally

figure out my ancient

office phone and dial

the dentist my coworker

says has movies

playing all the time.

GO TO 2

A.

It’s chill ’cause

I can brush

my teeth while

also spraying

dry shampoo

like a champ.

GO TO 1

So your manager

points out the bags

under your eyes

when you walk in,

which, ugh. Then you

check the anxiety-

fueled to-do list you

wrote yesterday and

your heart drops

even more when you

see “Make dentist

appointment.”

Your under-eye

in a Very Important

Meeting, waiting to

Presentation, when

Once outside, you

take a deep breath,

picture Harry

Styles winking,

and count to three.

What’s next?

B.

Pull up my big-girl pants

and push down my feels

so deep my therapist

will need to find them.

GO TO 4

B.

I guess it’s time I meet

my mysterious landlord?

I just need to call my

roommate to make sure

that person exists and

isn’t a murderer.

GO TO 4

A.

Curse at my phone,

and GTFO of there

before I lose my shit.

GO TO 3 A.

Um, my world is literally

crumbling around me.

I’m calling my mama,

asking her to make me

dinner and maybe move

in with me forever.

END

How long can you

make it

without

calling

your mom?

2

3

1

N

am

e

be

tter

duos.

I’llwait.

you

28 Cosmopolitan September 2019