Cosmopolitan USA – September 2019

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Dear Aliza,
An (annoying) Cancer
coworker and I are
not vibing well. I kind
of cannot stand her.
She complains about
everything, inserts
herself into everyone’s
conversations, and
acts like a know-it-
all. The way she talks
makes me want to
breathe fire. Worst
of all, we’ll soon be
sharing a small office,
and I’m terrified that
I will lose it on her.
Help!
Thanks,
Aggravated Aquarius
Dear Aggravated
Aquarius,
As the last air sign
of the zodiac, you’re
free-spirited, indepen-
dent, and not afraid to
break rules. Basically,
you can be a lot. (In a
good way! But still!)
What you need to
resolve this conflict: a
shift in perspective. I
know, I know, but it’ll
be worth it—your job
and emotional well-
being are on the line.
Believe it or not,
inside every hard-
shell Cancer is a
Leo (the next zodiac
sign) who’s dying to
take center stage.
But while Leos are
will improve natu-
rally if you can adjust
your lens—just a
little bit, okay?—to
try to understand her
quirks. Meet her with
kindness. If she feels
safe with you, she’ll
probably chill out.
Finally, no shade,
but...the qualities we
dislike in others are
often the things we
don’t like about our-
selves. Kthxbye!
To the Moon and back,
xx Aliza
@AlizaKelly
HOW YOUR
SIGN BOMBS
A JOB
INTERVIEW
By JULIA
PUGACHEVSKY
ARIES
You confidently go in
knowing nothing
about the position.
TAURUS
You death - grip the
boss’s hand and
break a finger.
GEMINI
You let it slip that
you’re a Gemini.
CANCER
Your one Q is about
office snacks.
LEO
You zone out when
they aren’t asking
about you.
VIRGO
You are A+, but
someone else is more
qualified??? WTF?
LIBRA
You stroll in 10
minutes late like
it’s NBD.
SCORPIO
You hold serial - killer-
level eye contact.
SAGITTARIUS
You make a weird
joke and the room
goes dead quiet.
CAPRICORN
You get honest
when they ask what
you’d fix.
AQUARIUS
You wear a pink, glit-
tery outfit for the most
corporate role ever.
PISCES
You realize that you’d
hate the job, so you
sabotage it!
Need some cosmic help
to cope with your drama?
Hit us up: Astrolobestie
@Cosmopolitan.com.
always camera -
ready, Cancers need
outside affirmation
before they perform.
Your colleague is just
asking for attention
and approval with
all her extra behav-
ior. And the more you
try to ignore her, the
more she’ll try to feel
included.
I know you despise
hand-holding, Aquar-
ius, so I’m not going to
force you to embrace
this person with open
arms or become her
friend (although, TBH,
she’d probably love
that). Your dynamic
Ask your
astrolobestie
Real-talk life advice from astrologer,
author, and Instagram meme queen Aliza Kelly.
That was my
lunch, Jan!
Stop stealing
my sandwich!
astrology
78 Cosmopolitan September 2019
BE
N^
RIT
TE
R.