C10 The Boston Globe TUESDAY, AUGUST 6, 2019
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TuesdayAugust6, 2019 Movies Sports News Specials Poweredby
Fifty years ago, fromAug. 15-18,peaceand love
carriedthe days of Woodstock.They werestar-
dust, they weregolden,as Joni Mitchellput it, and
they managed to get themselvesback to the gar-
den withoutmuch trouble,not longafter we first
set foot on the moon.
The New York State Thruway was closed, man.
That concert will be in the media spotlight over
the next weekor two, beginning Tuesday night at 9
with PBS’s “Woodstock: Three Days That Defined
a Generation.” The film, which was directed by Ba-
rak Goodmanand premiered to mostly positive re-
views at the Tribeca Film Festival in April, focuses
on the peopleinvolved — fromthe localsof Bethel,
N.Y., to the producers and staff runningthe festi-
val. If you’re only interested in the music, Michael
Wadleigh’s 1970 documentary “Woodstock” re-
mainsa must-seeclassic.
Cut to: Now. It’s the era of the Fyre Fest, and
the efforts to put together Woodstock50 failed
miserably. The concert, created by originalWood-
stock producer MichaelLang, was officially can-
celed recently after what Lang called “a series of
unforeseensetbacks.” He primarily blamed the
Japanese-based advertisingcompany he’d part-
neredwith.
Yup. The innocencethat thrivedat the original
Woodstock left the rock’n’ roll building longago.
“Don’t it always seemto go / you don’t know what
you’ve got till it’s gone?”Q.I’m 23 and live in Australia. Last year I
had to moveto a different city for workand
I met a 27-year-old man. We became friends
and eventually I fell in love with him. In
February of this year I had to move back to
my city, and we decided to break up because
we both didn’t think long-distancewould
work.
We stayed in contact whenI moved
back, and I missed him a lot. He seemed to
feel the same,but he was getting on better
thanI was. In April I flew to his city to visit
him, and when we saw each other it was
like no timehad passed. He came withme
to my friend’s party as a plus-one and we
spenta lovely weekend together before I
(sadly) had to fly back home. Seeing him af-
ter two months apart, and feeling just as en-
thralledby him as I did whenwe saw each
othereveryweek,IknewIstillhadfeelings
for him.
Three weekslater, while scrolling
throughFacebook, I saw that a woman had
tagged him in a post, and after I messaged
him about it he told me he was sleeping
with/seeing someoneelse (that is, a girl he
met at the party I brought him to). I was
heartbroken and devastated. I felt like I had
beencheated on even thoughwe never said
we would be together. I felt wronged that he
would move on so quickly with someone he
met indirectly through me.
He’s now dating her, and he and I speak
on occasion.Every time we speak I feel just
as I did whilewe were dating, like I would
dropeverything to speakto him, and yet he
pullsaway becauseit’s a “weird situation”
with him dating someone else.
I guessmy questions is, what do you do
if you’re heartbroken from someone who
didn’t technically do anythingwrong?How
do you treat a broken heart whenyou want
to keep themin your life but you’re unsure
if it would do more harm than good?
HEARTBROKENA.Long-distancecanwork. It’s often un-
pleasant, but it’s possibleto pull off. You
and this mancouldhave made the choice to
try for more(I mean,you wereable to see
him just two months after you moved), but... you didn’t. Think about the reasons you
calledit off when you left — becausethey
still apply, right?
Also, please stop talking to him.Your
chemistry with this ex is romantic, not pla-
tonic,whichmeansyou’re extendingthe
heartache and confusion withevery won-
derful phonecall. Start treating this like a
real breakup and protect yourself as much
as you can.Maybe do some muting and
blocking on social media.
If you’ve changed your mindabout what
you want— as in, you’d be opento long-dis-
tance — you can let him know. But you’d
probably be telling him to give him the
chanceto reiterate that he’s not into the
idea.It would be a way to get a little bit of
closure, to be told that he’d rather move on
thanmake it work.Becauseagain,he did
not look at you that weekend and say, “How
can we make this possible?” Instead, he
started dating someone he met at that par-
ty.
It’s OK if you’re angry about that, by the
way. He didn’t break any rules,nor did he
cheat, but your feelings are your feelings. Be
upset, blockhim,and start the processof
finding something new.
MEREDITHREADERSRESPOND:Log off social mediafor awhile. Unfollow
him if necessary. SOL-Whenyou breakup withsomeone it’s
generally good practice to not talk to them
for a while and create somedistanceso you
can workthroughyour emotions. Trying to
create a friendship froma soured romance
is incredibly difficult. MCDIMMERSONI know you don’t really wantto move on.
You wantto keep a piece of this alive. But
what you are keepingalive isn’t the rela-
tionship you want. It’s just a painful re-
minder that you are not going to get it.
TWO-SHEDS^Great advice as usual, TWO-SHEDS.
FREEADVICEFORYOUColumnandcomments are editedand
reprinted fromboston.com/loveletters. Send
letters to [email protected].LOVELETTERS
BYMEREDITHGOLDSTEINMy ex started datingsomeone he met through meHENRYDILTZ/PBSDISTRIBUTIONRichieHavensperformingat the Woodstock musicfestival in August 1969.
TVCRITIC’S CORNER
BYMATTHEWGILBERTWoodstock at 50: Maybeit’s the timeof man