46
Books
Child abuse, self-harm and laughter
This is one of the most eccentric
and uplifting memoirs I have ever
read. It ought to be excruciating –
Rhik Samadder writes about his
variously devastating experiences:
sexual abuse, eating disorders,
self-harming and depression ( this
is only the abbreviated list). But
if you wanted proof that writing
can rise above what it describes,
this is it. The book is a buoy on
troubled water (not at all the same
as a bridge over it). It is indecentlyActor and writer Rhik
Samadder’s indecently
entertaining memoir
unspools his diffi cult life
with lightness, writes
Kate KellawayAutobiography
I Never Said I Loved You
Rhik Samadder
Headline, £14.99, pp320zoo to perfect their neurotic to ing
and fro ing in captivity. Little did I
realise how much reason he had for
pacing in his own life.
At this point, his mother should
take a bow. She is the book’s
heroine. She had no idea what had
happened to her son (and if he is
OK now, she can probably take
some credit). She is characterised
in gloriously outlandish detail (her
jaw-droppingly bizarre menus
adorn the book-like doodles – or
noodles). She wears a “Mother
Teresa hat”. She adores travel.
She darts around the globe. After
Samadder’s father’s death, sheteaches herself “a new skill every
year: conga drumming, sculpture,
digital story telling”. Mother and
son briefl y fetch up in a hotel
in Thailand, and this is where
Samadder, failing to celebrate
turning 30 and severely depressed,
fi rst tries to talk to his mother about
the abuse he suffered as a child.
“Many people may have a dated,
stereotypically seedy mental
image accompanying the words
‘Bangkok hotel room’,” he writes,
deadpan, before proceeding: “These
people would be correct. Instead
of chocolates, the staff had left
condoms on the pillows of the bed.”entertaining : there are moments
when one feels guilty for enjoying
the writing so much. Samadder is
not making light of his diffi cult life
but is being light about it, which is a
sort of victory.
The fi rst time I came across him
was in 2006. I was reviewing Rona
Munro’s The Indian Boy , an RSC
show inspired by A Midsummer
Night’s Dream. Samadder was the
star, the Indian boy – Oberon’s
minion. He was fantastic. At the
time, I innocently admired the
restless way he paced up and down
stage, imagining he must have
РЕЛИЗ spent time observing animals at a
ПОДГОТОВИЛАГРУППА"What's News"VK.COM/WSNWSРЕЛИЗ ПОДГОТОВИЛА ГРУППА "What's News" VK.COM/WSNWS