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(^) Daily Mail, Thursday, August 8, 2019
KNACKERED
MOTHERS’
WINE CLUB
BY HELEN
McGINN
BARGAIN OF THE WEEK
Taste The Difference
Barrihuelo Rioja Rosado,
£6 (normally £7.50), Sainsbury’s
THIS rosé Rioja is made by one of
the oldest family-owned wineries
in the region, Bodegas Muriel,
and it’s a real gem, with fresh lemon
and light strawberry fruit flavours.
Refreshingly different.
WHITE WINE
Earth’s End Central Otago
Riesling 2017, £9 (normally
£13.50), Marks & Spencer
FROM New Zealand’s Central Otago
region, this is fresh and crisp, but
with a hint of natural sweetness. Full
of lime flavours, it has a summery
floral twist. Cracking value, too.
FOOD PAIRING: Thai green curry.
RED WINE
Te Mata Gamay Noir,
£13.50, The Wine Society
THIS is a great summer red, with
light summer-pudding fruit flavours,
made from the Gamay grape, the
one behind the wines of Beaujolais.
Stick a bottle in the fridge for half-
an-hour to make the flavours pop.
FOOD PAIRING: Pork stir-fry.
SPARKLING WINE
Champagne Philizot, £26.99, Aldi
THIS organic champagne looks
more like a rosé in the glass, and
the light citrus and red fruit flavours
are topped off with the smell of
crushed biscuits. Made from the
classic champagne grapes Char-
donnay and Pinot Noir, this is one to
snaffle if you spot it on the shelves.
FOOD PAIRING: Cheese straws.
O HOMEMADE Cocktails by
Helen McGinn (£10.99, Robinson).
WANT your haircare products to
shout as loudly as your look?
Then take a peek at the colourfully
packaged products being flogged
by U.S. label Amika, which has just
launched in the UK.
The brand infuses its products
with vanilla, citrus and clove and is
gluten- and cruelty-free and 100 per
cent vegan.
Try the Soulfood
Nourishing Mask
(£20) which deeply
conditions very dry
hair, or the Reset
Pink Charcoal Scalp
Cleansing Oil (£20),
a pre-wash oil that
exfoliates and detox-
ifies (revolve.com
and birchbox.co.uk).
Is this the next
haircare cult?
with the word ‘no’ from a very
young age.
‘It has to be used strategically, not
every five minutes, otherwise it loses
its impact,’ she says, ‘whether it’s for
the safety of a child or someone else,
or if they’re pleading for a toy when
you’re out shopping.
‘It’s important we help children
manage the feelings of frustration
and disappointment that come with
being told “no” to the things that
are so huge in their world.
‘If you say “no” to a teenager
who’s only ever heard “yes”, their
world is thrown into disarray
because they don’t know how
to handle it.’
Still, Ollwyn advises that
‘no’ must come with a short
explanation. ‘It helps child
ren to build resilience and
empathy for how their
behaviours affect others,’ she
adds. ‘For example, if you’re
on a plane and your child
starts kicking the seat in
front, it’s important to say
something like: “No, that’s
not OK, because it will be
uncomfortable for the man
in front.”
‘In order for children to
feel secure, they have to
know this is the line in
the sand and that, if
they push against it,
then there’s going to be
a consequence.’
Graphic designer Emma
B w w m a f m t E “ i c m d w a a k w w n m r f w s t h d i s f
ten have banned the word ‘naughty’, for fear it
could cause selfperpetuating behaviour.
The argument goes that there is always a
reason for a child acting up — whether it’s
frustration, boredom or disappointment.
Three in five nurseries have also abandoned
the ‘naughty step’ or ‘thinking chair’ as a tool for
enforcing discipline.
‘There are times when the kids wear me down
and it would be easy to tell them off,’ admits
Natalie, who blogs at crummymummy.co.uk.
‘But, instead, I shut myself in the loo for five
minutes to get some perspective. Anything to
ensure I don’t break my own rules.’
‘The word “no” doesn’t teach children anything.
If parents lose their tempers and label their kids
“naughty”, that’s about them not knowing how
to channel their own emotions,’ adds Natalie, who
lives in Hove, East Sussex, with her journalist
husband Rob, 41, and their children.
‘When Bluebell was a toddler, we had a
designated naughty corner, because everyone
did. But the crestfallen look on her face when we
sent her there for unruly behaviour on her second
birthday made me feel there must be better ways
to parent than branding her badly behaved.
‘Since then, my ethos has been that we resolve
things by talking. I rarely say “no” to my children.
But it’s a constant bone of contention, because
my husband completely disagrees with me. He
thinks I’m a pushover, which has led to some
heated arguments between us.’
W
HEN they started their family,
Natalie and husband Rob
didn’t discuss how they would
discipline their children. Then
came the ‘terrible twos’.
‘I didn’t want to be that parent always raising
my voice, so I read up on gentle parenting.
It made sense,’ says Natalie. ‘Now, instead of
saying “no” or “that’s very naughty”, I crouch
down to their level and try to gently explain why
their behaviour isn’t acceptable.’
Forget the ‘Supernanny’ methods of TV’s Jo
Frost, who advocated putting kids on the
naughty step to make them think about their
actions — many of today’s parents and teachers
say such methods are outdated.
You’d be forgiven for rolling your eyes at this
point. After all, children need boundaries, and
negotiating with younger ones is often a lost
cause, whereas a stint on the naughty step may
do the trick.
Natalie disagrees, even if her approach causes
some degree of chaos at home.
‘If they want to watch TV or have extra
biscuits, I don’t say no — partly because, with
three children and me working from home, I
don’t have time to spend negotiating.’
Instead, she explains to them the implications
of filling up on biscuits, getting tummy ache and
not having room for their dinner later. And, yes,
usually they eat the biscuits anyway.
Natalie herself was brought up in a very differ
ent way. She remembers her parents being strict,
banning sweets and too much television.
‘Mum never explained why we weren’t allowed,
but it must have been exhausting for her saying
“no” all the time. I’ve never asked her what she
thinks of my parenting style, but she’s much
stricter with my children.
‘Marigold recently threw the remote control in
a temper because Mum wouldn’t let her watch
TV. Whereas I would have backed down,
Mum repeatedly told her “no”.
‘I wouldn’t have had the energy
for the 20minute standoff that
apparently ensued.
‘My husband thinks that I’m a
pushover — but I think he’s got
a short fuse. I discipline them
gently, by giving them three
warnings and a consequence,
such as not being able to stay
up on a Saturday night to
watch TV.’
Does Natalie think
her children are better
behaved for her efforts?
Not always, she admits:
‘Sometimes, I feel like
we’re that family
when we’re out. But,
other times, people
comment on how
wellbehaved the
children are.’
So can banishing
the word ‘no’ help
children be better behaved?
Neurological and child
development therapist
Ollwyn Moran concurs that
‘naughty’ isn’t a helpful
word — but strongly believes
children must learn to deal
‘She had a
meltdown
in M&S’
‘There is
no need to
say sorry’
NATALIE BROWN
Marigold recently threw
the remote control in
a temper because her
grandma wouldn’t let
her watch TV. I would
have backed down
‘
’
‘I’ve learned to empathise with her’: Emma
Bird and four-year-old daughter Ottilie
Different approach:
Amelia Kennard with
sons AJ and Forest
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