Our Canada – August-September 2019

FUNNY STUFF

ILLUSTRATION:

ISTOCKPHOTO

Clear for Landing

A friend of mine told me a story
about something that happened
to him while he was working
for CPR in the early 1980s. On a
run from Thunder Bay to
Schreiber, Ont., the train
he was on rounded a corner
near Loon, just east of
Thunder Bay, and, shockingly
enough, there was an airplane
sitting on the tracks. Evidently,
it had run out of gas and made an
emergency landing. The conduc-
tor wasn’t able to stop in time, and
so the train plowed right into the
thankfully vacant plane, demol-
ishing it. When the conductor
radioed the dispatcher in Schreiber
to report that his train had
struck a plane, there was a brief
pause and then the dispatcher
replied, “You are too high. Lower
the train back onto the tracks.”
Mike Mineau,Schreiber, Ont.

Hobbling Hikers

Some years ago, I owned a small

business based in Toronto taking

groups of people on hiking

holidays in North America and

to various countries around the

world. One year, I added a two-

week hiking holiday in Malta, to

the brochure that I mailed out

in January every year. The trip

quickly filled up with 24 people—

the maximum I would take. Then

I received a phone call from a lady

who lived in northern Ontario,

asking if she could join the group.

I told her the group was full and

she was very disappointed, as

her husband had died recently

and she wanted to get away on

a holiday somewhere. Then she

added that she did not actually

want to hike as she had a bad leg,

but would just go sightseeing

instead, using the local buses on

the island.

On hearing this, I agreed that

she could join the group, so she

sent me a cheque in payment. I

mailed her the itinerary and her

ticket for the airline and told her

we would meet her in the depar-

ture lounge at the airport.

I subsequently learned that on

receipt of her plane ticket, she

had phoned up the airline and

requested that a wheelchair be

available at the check-in desk

because of her bad leg, and then

brightly added that she was go-

ing on a hiking trip to Malta with

a group of at least 20 others. The

airline representative obviously

misunderstood what she was

asking because when I arrived

at the check-in desk, there were

20 wheelchairs lined up, waiting

behind the counter for a group of

hobbling hikers!

Ron Baylis,Cobourg, Ont.

Share a Laugh

Do you have a funny story

to tell? Send along your side-

splitting misadventures and

knee-slapping anecdotes

to ourcanada.ca.

62 Our Canada AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2019