Reader’s Digest India – July 2019

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Reader’s Digest

He died doing what he loved:

typing his symptoms into WebMD

instead of going to the doctor.

—— @Ristolable

running around with-

out a drink or a pill;

if you can always find

contentment just

where you are—you

are probably a dog.

—Jack Kornfield,

author

Why isn’t the ink on

talking terms with the

white shirt?

They are having a

‘stained’ relationship.

—V. R. Shankar,

Visakhapatnam

“Dear, if you’ll make

the toast and pour the

juice,” said the newly-

wed bride, “breakfast

will be ready.” “Good!

What are we having for

breakfast?” asked the

new husband.

“Toast and juice.”

—THEADVOCATE.COM

Period shows from the

Middle Ages and the

Renaissance are big

on Netflix, HBO, and

Amazon—Medici and

The Last Kingdom, to

name a couple. Here’s

a list of obscure charac-

ters you’ll find way

down on the credits:

1. The knight who

was afraid to fight:

Sir Render

2. The undercover

knight: Sir Veillance

3. The knight who

always guessed right:

Sir Miser

4. The knight who

showed up unexpec-

tedly: Sir Prise

5. The knight who

drank too much:

Sir Rhosis

6. The dancing knight:

Sir Prance-a-Lot

7. The loudest knight

of all: Sir Roundsound

8. The foul-mouthed

knight: Sir Cuss

—KINGDOMPURSUITS.COM

HERE’S TO DAD!

Doc: Your dad has

been in a coma for nine

days. We’re running out

of ideas.

Me: Let me try. (Goes to

adjust thermostat)

DaD: (Opens one eye)

— @KeetPotato

Scene: A race. The gun

goes off. Every runner

pretends to be wounded,

then laughs and starts

the race.

annoUnceR: And the an-

nual Dad 5K is underway.

— @gojarbe

Why is it called a dad bod

and not a father figure?

— @SkinnerSteven

A few weeks ago, my dad

decided he was going to

order pizza from his iPad.

He’s almost finished.

Serghei StaruS — @simoncholland

/ShutterS

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