Reader’s Digest India – July 2019

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Reader’s Digest

My daughter was anxious to do some

landscaping at her new home, but then

she called up sounding discouraged.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get these flowers

planted,” she moaned. “It says to plant in

full sun, but it’s been cloudy for four days.”

—Doris Grayem

Although I’d been

dating a woman for

several months, I guess

I didn’t know her as

well as I thought. One

day, I called, and her

10-year-old son

answered.

“Hi,” I said. “It’s

Tom. Can I speak with

your mom?”

He responded,

“Are you Tom One or

Tom Two?”

Needless to say, his

mother is now down

to one Tom.

—Thomas Falldorf

I was at a post office in

Hyderabad to send my

KYC (Know Your Cus-

tomer) form for my

credit card.

I asked the person at

the counter on the fast-

est form of mail. I

wanted it to reach at

the earliest as the bank

wanted the KYC “ASAP”

as its customer care

executive put it.

The lady at the

counter without raising

her head said, “By

‘registered post’ it will

take seven days, and by

‘speed post’ a week.

Which one do you

want?”

—K. Lahari,

Hyderabad

Toddler walks by

with a hammer.

Me: What are you

going to make?

Toddler: Noise.

— @iwearaonesie

GET ME A REWRITE!

All of these headlines

are real—except one. Can

you spot which is from the

humour site fark.com?

apnews.com Answer: 1)

philly.com 3) an.comtheguardi2)

The Post Crescent 5) fark.com4)

isconsin), submitted by (Appleton, w

homes Alice t

MAN WHO JUMPED

OUT OF FREEZER

AND DIED WAS COLD-

CASE SUSPECT

1

Some Clown Fish

Have No Personality,

Australian Study Finds

DAY CARE CENTER

PLANS BRAT FRY TODAY

Former Philly Traffic

Court Judge—Convicted

of Lying to Feds—Seeks

“Fresh Start” in Congress

Body Found at Base

of Cliff Near Mount

Rushmore. The Only

Four Witnesses

Remain Stone-Faced.

2

3

4

5

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