Ohfuck.It’soneofthem
orange,blancmangeyones.Justgiveita
wipeonsome
grass,sir.Oh,that
fucking
stinks.Here,sir.Fuckingselfish
bastards,honestly.How’sthat?Anyonegotalollystick?Betterthan
nothing,I
suppose.It’snotthedogs,it’sthefucking
owners.Honestly,ifIcaughtthem,
I’drubtheirfuckingnosesinit.NextWeek in 999
Emergency Bomb Squad:
As the detonator begins its
deadly countdown to dis-
aster, Colonel Quicksilver
sends the squad in search of
a chemist to get some wet-
wipes and a roll of kitchen
paper.I’vetrodinsomedogshite.Thereisn’tanygrass.We’re
inthemiddleofthestreet... ...oh,
bollocks!Just give your boota
swishroundinthatpuddle,
Colonel. That’ll clean it.Imean,whojustletstheirdogshit
inthefuckingstreetandleavesit?
Whatisitwiththesepeople?Aw,it’supthefuckingsides,look.
Whydon’tyou
justscrapeiton
theground,sir?No,that’lljustspreaditall
around.Hasanyonegotastick?
No,it’sstillall
inthetreadsir.Giveitanother
gointhewater.Fuck’s sake!No,it’sstillthere,sir...Ithink
you’llhavetopokeitoutwith
somethinglikealollystick. I’vegotsome
matches,
Colonel.Would
amatchdo?You’vemissedabit,sir,ontheheel......Justthere,look,sir.There,that’llhavetodo.I’ll
getsomebleachonthem
whenwegetbacktoHQ.Right,squad.Let’sget
thisbombmadesafe!Actionstations,everyone.Fargo,dowe
haveamarkonthatdetonatoryet..?Oh,forfuck’s
sake...FUCK!Fucking
hell...It’s started ticking!