COMEDY
onthe
A
SKanystand-upwhattheessenceofcomedyis,andthey’lltell
you...“Timing.”Eventhebestjokecanbekilledstonedeadifthe
punchlineisdeliveredslightlytooquicklyorslowly.Andwithafu-
turemoon-baseddouble-act’sradiosignalstakingthethickendofeight
secondstocriss-crossthevoidbetweenthemoon’ssurfaceandtheirearth-
boundaudience,timinggagscouldbecomearealproblemforcomedians.
Fast-pacedcrosstalkroutinesofthesortmadefamousbytheTwoRonnies,Pe-
terCookandDudleyMoore,andMikeandBernieWinters,wouldbealmostim-
possibletoperformonthelunarsurface.Punchlineswouldhavetobedelivered
beforetheset-up,andthenthegagsterswouldhavetoleaveasixteensecond
silencebeforethenextline,sotheyweren’ttalkingovertheaudiencelaughter.
W
HENaskedtonametheirfavouriteTVcomedymoment,
absolutelyeverybodyintheUKwilllanswerwithouthesita-
tion:thatbitinOnlyFools and HorseswhereDelboyfell
throughthebarthatthey’realwaysgoingonaboutonthetelly.Butwoebetide
anycomicwhoattemptedasimilarrib-tickleron
themoon’ssurface.Exitingbackwardsfromthe
lunarlanderwithoutrealisingthathisastro-
nautcolleaguehadremovedtheladder,for
instance,wouldbefraughtwithproblems.
Onearth,theresultantpratfallwouldhave
theaudiencesplittingtheirsideswithlaugh-
ter.Butuponthemoon,itwouldbethe
joke-nottheastronaut-thatwouldfallflat.
Themomenthenonchalantlysteppedinto
thegravity-freevacuumof
space,hewouldsimply
floataboutlikeaballoon,
leavingtheaudience
stonyfacedanduna-
mused.
Happily,NASAboffins
havecomeupwithaso-
lution:tiny,upward-facing
thrustersmountedon
eachsideofthespace-
man’shelmetwillblast
himdownwardstoland
arse-firstonthelunarsur-
face.Itwillbeonesmall
stepforman,onegiant
leapforcomedy.
A
LOTofthemostpopularcomediansonearthpractice
so-called“observationalcomedy”,wheretheseemingly
inocuous,commonplaceaspectsofeverydaylifeare
milkedfortheirhumorouselements.Have you ever noticed
how all footballers wear tight shirts? Why
do women always go to the toilet in large
groups? Grown men who go trainspot-
ting.... what’s all that about?Downhere
onearth,thereisaliterallylimitless
amountof“gear”fromwhichastand-up
candrawhisinspiration,andwhichhis
audiencewillimmediatelyrecognise.
Butonly12peoplehaveeverbeenon
themoon,andofthem,only4arestill
alive.Anywittyobservationsthatalu-
narboundMichaelMcIntyremightmake
aboutcraters,moondustandspacesuit
coathangerswouldhaveavanishingly
smallaudiencechucklingalong.For
thisreason,NASAintendtoditchany
observationalroutinesandconcentrate
onrecruitingfast-talking,wise-cracking
doubleactsinthestyleofHaleand
Pace,CannonandBallorLittleand
Large,tocrewfuturemoonmissions.
E
VERsincethecustardpiewasinvented,ithas
beenastapleoftheslapstickcomic’stoolbox.
Seeingoneofthesesloppy,paperplate-borne
dessertsgettingpushedsquarelyintothefaceof
anofficiousvictimprovidesanycomicwithaguaranteed
laughattheclimaxoftheircomedyroutine.Andtheaf-
termath,asthevictimslowlywipescustardfromhiseyes
beforegivingtheaudienceanexasperatedlook,gets
evenbiggerguffawsfromtheaudience.
Butupintheairlessvacuumofspace,suchtriedand
testedknockaboutroutineswouldbarelyraiseatitter.A
piepushedontothemirroredfrontofaspacesuithelmet
wouldhavejustatinyfractionofthecomedyvalueof
itstimewornterrestrialcounterpart,leavingthemillions
watchinghistorybeingmadestonyfacedandunamused.
Sadly,thechallengeofupdatingthiscomedystapleto
thespaceagehasprovedtoomuchevenfortheboffins
atNASA.Althoughhigh-techexperimentsinvolvingin-
helmetcustardsprayersandremoteservo-drivendevices
towipetheastronauts’eyesweresuccessful,Mission
Controleggheadsconcludedthattheysimplylackedthe
comicappealoftheirtraditional,triedandtestedearth-
boundslapstickcounterparts.
NextWeek-We look at the future of improv comedy in the
Marianas OceanicTrench, 20,000 leagues beneath the sea.
